


Why Pamper Life's Complexity

by TheSubtextMachine



Series: Wherever We Go [1]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Cyrus and Jonah are already dating, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Gossip, M/M, School Dances, Subplots™, There are so many ocs I'm so sorry, There are so many of those you wouldn't beoieve, also no one is straight?, and there's a lot more miscommunication, and there's so much random drama, fake relationship au, they're in high school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2018-10-16 15:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 33,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10574364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSubtextMachine/pseuds/TheSubtextMachine
Summary: Andi says that she's dating Buffy to Bex (because no one should be forced to make split decisions ever), and discovers that not only does Bex hold her to this, but also that Bex is a gossip? Who tells people things?? Andi is suddenly caught in a whirlwind of a fake relationship that she is starting to want to become a real relationship. She's confused, and I would be lying if I said that I didn't write this late at night.





	1. A Prologue to This Mess

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is my first fic! Please leave reviews. Even if you don't talk about the actual story, I'm just always into a good conversation.

Chapter 1: A Prologue to This Mess

Andi, Buffy, Cyrus and Jonah were all sprawled about the Andi Shack, letting the music of Cyrus' indie album of the week roll over them. It was an odd weekly ritual: Cyrus would bring an album of his new favorite band (it seemed to change every week), and the gang would lay down and let the sound wash over them like waves on a seashore as they drifted in and out of consciousness. It was the definitive end to every week, an hour (give or take) of music (with varying quality) and sporadic napping. Their Freshman year of high school was stressful enough, and the ritual became a cleansing act.

They were fifteen minutes into an album by The Smiths ("I know it's old and not 'indie' enough, but 'This Charming Man' is too good of a song for me to not include it in the Andi Shack Music Night"), when Jonah spoke up.

"So, Andiman, I've got a question."

"Jonah, why are you interrupting music night?" Cyrus asked, his annoyance prevalent in his voice.

"Sorry babe."

"Don't 'babe' me."

"What's the question? Might as well ask, since you totally ruined music night," interjected Andi.

"Does Bex still think you have a crush on me?"

"Probably. I mean, from her perspective, nothing's changed. She doesn't know that you're dating Cyrus, or that I'm over that weird phase in my life that I found Ultimate Frisbee an attractive quality in a man. So, she probably does."

"Ultimate Frisbee is hot, ask Cyrus."

"It's not hot."

After Jonah signed loudly in exasperation, the crew came to a silence. Andi turned her head to the fast-asleep Buffy, then to the silent pair behind her. Cyrus and Jonah had managed to hold hands, and Andi let the contentment fill her. She had the quiet urge to take Buffy's hand, but decided against it. 

Music night came and went, as did a few weeks. It was after dinner when this whole mess came to be.

Andi was working on her homework, trying to make sense of the confusing English prompt she was given when Bex walked into her room and took a seat on her bed. Andi looked up, questioning.

"So, Andi, guess who saw Jonah Beck at the grocery store today?" 

The excitement was emanating from Bex, so Andi decided it was in her best interest to at least feign mild shock.

"You did?"

"You bet. Apparently, he likes the organic peanut butter. Had a fight with his mom about it."

Andi chuckled, remembering very clearly Jonah's text to the group chat about how his mom was "being an eco-terrifying JIF lover".

"And I know you have a crush on him, so I invited him over for dinner!"

It was this moment that Andi knew that her previous omission was a bad idea. After all, Jonah was a great guy, but he also has a tendency to cuss when nervous, and was very nervous around Andi's grandmother.

Also, Andi thought, might as well rip off the "I don't like Jonah in that way anymore" band-aid right here and now. 

"No, no. I don't like Jonah like that anymore. He's just a great friend."

"Oh, do you like someone else?"

The question did have a simple answer, but Andi had a much less simple thought process. The process went by so fast that she didn't give herself anytime to check over and correct for mistakes. It went as follows:

"Not really->This is a bad question that I do not want her to ask again->How will she not ask again->maybe if I say that I'm dating someone I won't have to worry about her setting me up->who would I be dating->it has to be someone she knows->not Cyrus, she knows he's gay->not Jonah, because obviously->Buffy?->Buffy."

"I'm dating Buffy."


	2. Things Get Marginally Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andi comes out, fanbrixares a relationship, and so the story begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, second chapter here. This too, was written late at night. By the way, if you can, send me writing prompts, please either on my tumblr or in the comments, the writer's block is hitting.

"Buffy! Oh my god- gosh, sorry. God? I don't know, but anyway. Buffy! I totally see it! I swear, I should've seen it coming. I get it, hindsight is 20/20," Bex rambled. 

Andi was suddenly struck with confusion. Should've seen it coming? What does that mean. What there something about her that screamed "I have a crush on Buffy"?

"You saw it coming?"

"Of course, I should've. All of the knowing looks, inside jokes. The fact that you started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer immediately after she said you should. That, and those crush looks."

"Crush looks?"

"You know, when you have a crush on someone and you look at them. But it's different, because of the whole crush thing. I got in so much trouble as a kid, my face was such an open book. Hell- I mean, heck? Can I say that in front of you? Anyways, I had such moon eyes for Laura Houghston, her mom practically kicked me out of the house!"

"L-Laura?"

Andi's mind was moving a mile a minute. Crush eyes? Laura Houghston? Who was Laura Houghston? And did Andi have crush looks for Buffy? 

"Yeah, I figured you could know by now. Because of the whole, you know, Buffy thing. It's chill right? I date girls and guys, it's chill."

"Yeah. Chill. I-"

Andi stopped mid-sentence. If Bex was coming out to her, maybe Andi should do the same? After all, why not get a two for one: solid lie complete along with proper coming out. This wasn't ideal circumstances, of course. But we're there such things as ideal circumstances when coming out?

"I'm bi, too."

"Chill."

"Chill."

"So, Buffy? How did that start?" Bex repositioned herself, ready for a good gossip session. Andi's mind was trying to pick up the pieces of this development.

"Well, um, Buffy came out mid-eighth grade, right?" Andi read somewhere that the best way to lie was to get it as close to the truth as possible, so she figured she might as well be right on these specific details. "It's before Cyrus and Jonah are together-"

"Wait, what? Cyrus and- just include THAT one in the story."

"Oh, yeah, sure. So Buffy comes out mid-eighth grade. It's in the Andi Shack, during Music Night. Then, she gets a girlfriend. Y'know, natural progression."

"Who's the girlfriend?"

"Cynthia Brindisi. Basically, Cynthia asked Buffy to the dance, and Buffy wanted to be out when she took her girlfriend to prom. And the dance was so crazy. This is where the Cyrus Jonah stuff happens, by the way."

"Thank God, I was trying to figure out the pieces together by myself."

As stressful as this was, it was actually a bit fun to gossip about the Nice Hair Crew's drama without the group actually being there. Andi finally could talk about how terrible Cynthia was without Cynthia Apologist Buffy filtering it.

"So, the dance rolls around. Mom drives me, Cyrus, and Jonah to the dance, and when we walk in, BAM, Buffy's dancing with Cynthia. It's terrible. Their clothes match. The worst. So, Cyrus and Jonah go to get me a drink, because I'm getting a bit mad, because Cynthia is obviously a terrible girlfriend. The worst girlfriend. Like, Amber levels of bad. So I head out on the dance floor, and do some angry dancing. A slow song comes on, but the worst part? Cynthia asked for the song. It was a romantic, gay song. I wanted to die. So I'm dancing alone during a slow song, when Jonah swoops in to save me..."

The memory floated around in Andi's head, the nostalgia radiating around her mind. After all, who forgets their first official coming out?

Jonah grabbed her arms and led the dance. Andi was obviously emotional (over how terrible Cynthia was with Buffy, obviously), and he didn't ask why. He just started talking and trying to ease the tenseness.

"So, when the next partner switch comes up, I think I'm going to go with Cyrus," Jonah stated, nervousness seeping into his words.

"Cool," Andi knew was was coming, and was prepared for it. 

"I think I like him, Andiman. Like, like-like him. I wanna be his boyfriend, and all of that mushy, gross stuff," with this confession, Andi felt a strike of unprecedented bravery.

"Well, it looks like the Good Hair Crew is now officially the Gay Hair Crew. Although let's not change it to that."

"What do you mean, you-"

"I'm bi, by the way," Andi giggled at her own pun, causing Jonah to giggle along. They erupted into quiet laughter at the road that life took them down.

The memory seized at this moment, and Andi was reminded that she should probably include the part where she kissed Buffy (in the story, not real life).

"So then, emboldened with this confession, the next partner switch in the dance comes up. I switch around and land on Buffy with some careful maneuvering. Cyrus and Jonah get together, somehow. Buffy and I are dancing. The song changes to a fast song, and we step outside. She's all like 'I broke up with Cynthia'. I'm all like 'I'm bi'. The conversation didn't go in that order, but those were the major topics discussed. We kiss, then we start dating."

Bex seemed more shocked than anything.

"You kept this from us the whole time?"

"Yes?"

Andi's mind had finished racing and was now caught up fully with what just happened. She not only came out, but she also fabricated a relationship with one of her best friends.

Said best friend is currently in a relationship with Worst Girlfriend Ever Cynthia Brindisi.

And so it began.


	3. The Problem Grows, Becomes a Toddler-Sized Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's lunch-time, and news it broken/fries are aggressively eaten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyy! Leave comments, of course. But also have a good day.

The day after Andi and Bex's talk, Andi feels an odd sense of calmness. Her mind tries to plan how she'll tell the Good Hair Crew about the whole Buffy stuff, but inexplicably, she's in a good mood. It's during lunch, when the whole Good Hair Crew convenes in the cafeteria when she figures out why.

"If a girl says that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore, does that mean that she's broken up with me?"

Buffy asked this question with an air of nonchalance, but the group ignores the tone and reacted in the most grandiose way possible.

"Break. Up. With. Her," Jonah stated, his face taking on a serious look.

"She's absolutely terrible, and you can do much better. Why are you letting this happen. Drop her. Cut her out of your life. Please," Andi spoke with desperation, her own problems quickly forgotten.

"Okay, that was, like, 50% a joke, and we are not going to break up over this. We fought a bit over whether popcorn is better sweet or salty. This is entirely non-fatal, no big deal. Don't overreact."

Buffy tried to mediate, but the response overpowered her explanation.

"And how is it 50% a joke? Why are you being so vague?" Jonah asked, authoritatively shoving a French fry into his mouth.

"Stop vagueing, Buffy. We need answers," Cyrus added on, stealing a fry off of Jonah's plate.

"Okay, here's the story. Cynthia and I are texting, and then we have an argument. She says 'I don't want to talk to you anymore', and leaves me on read. We haven't spoken since. My question here is if she broke up with me."

"She didn't. But you should," Andi stated definitively.

"Okay, I get that you guys think its funny but stop joking about me and Cynthia breaking up. We've been together for almost a year, and it's not going to end anytime soon. We have a healthy, enjoyable, intellectual relationship that, like every relationship, has flaws. This isn't funny," Buffy snapped. 

Silence overtook the table, as the perpetrators were struck quiet and Buffy fumed. Andi finally broke the silence.

"I know this won't make it better, but I told Bex that we were dating."

Instead of ask questions, Buffy stood up, grabbed her lunch, and stormed off.

Cyrus and Jonah turned to Andi, awaiting explanation.

"Shut up Jonah, I did it for you," Andi, overwhelmed with the fact that Buffy was disapproving of the whole "lying about dating" thing, picked up her lunch and left to go sit with her Craft Club friends, thinking of the fact that Buffy probably went to sit with Cynthia as she walked to the Craft Club table.

Meanwhile, Jonah pushed his lunch to the center, so Cyrus could have easier access to the fries. Cyrus pushed his salad to the center, and Jonah began to pick out the small tomatoes.

"So, that just happened," Cyrus stated awkwardly.

"True. Andi said that she did it for me?"

"Yep, that happened too. Should we maybe ask in the group chat when the tension's all settled?"

"With those two? The tension's never settled."

"Are you ready to change your bet? Because I know you don't wanna lose twenty dollars on this one."

"Nope, they are going to get together in a month. Still twenty, no changes."

"You overestimate them. I've got three months left on my count and a wallet that needs twenty mor bucks."

"You're terrible."

"So are you. Can I have the rest of your fries?"

"Only if you let me have the rest of your salad."

"Deal."


	4. Chapter Four: The Problem Grows a Bit More, Is Named Nathan Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you have ever felt personally victimized by Celia Mack raise your hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I wrote this after having a heavy dinner I am t i r e d. My grampa put a lot of hot sauce on the potatoes it was wild. Comment, because comments always make my day.

The silence that lives between Andi and Buffy is broken after three long hours. The icebreaker is a text the group chat (entitled "The Gay Hair Crew", of course) , simple and imperative: "Meet me in the Andi Shack, we need to scheme."

Andi's call to action is met with a slew of thumbs-up emojis, and the planning begins in her head as she runs through a list of materials that she will need. This list includes pens, paper, a clipboard, multicolored paper clips, and that new calligraphy pen that she just got.

Andi would smile in that conniving way that people do in movies, but she's in the middle of her art class and has a feeling that it will attract unwanted attention.

Her planning continues as she rides her motorbike home, and her hands itch to write and scheme.

Andi was always a fan of scheming. Never actual, take down the government-style scheming, with high stakes and taking down other people, but small schemes? Like that one time that she managed to get her entire English class to switch names for the substitute without a single hitch? Those schemes were her favorite.

When she arrived at the Andi Shack, she sighed with relief at the fact that no one was there yet. In the past, Jonah would usually manage to show up first (as far as Andi knew, he had this apparently magical skateboard that could beat out, his words, an Italian sports car. Cyrus and Buffy weren't as lucky, they had to ride the bus), so this was a bit of a luxury.

She rushed into the clubhouse, and began to pull out the pens and paper. While debating the merits of blue pen versus green pen, Jonah tentatively opened the door.

"Jonah! Blue pen or black pen?" Andi asked, barely looking up from the pens she was deciding between.

"Blue, all the way," Jonah sat down on the floor, picking up a piece of paper and examining it.

"Do you know when Buffy and Cyrus are getting here?" Andi asked.

"If I had to guess, I would say about five minutes. Although, maybe more. Cyrus texted me that Kara's going to be on the bus, which means extra stop before they get here."

"Well, looks like we have to waste time somehow. Do you know any-"

It was at this moment when Celia opened the door to the Andi Shack, with a stressed-out Bex trailing behind her.

"What is Bex saying about you dating Buffy?"

"Ah, shit," said Jonah, as nervous sweat seemed to break out. Celia's line of focus whipped to Jonah, as she prepared to chastise him over his language. Andi felt whiplash- where was all of this coming from?

"Bex! What did you-"

"Nothing! Well, something. It wasn't on purpose, I swear! Mom was talking and then she noticed Jonah and said something and I said something about it never happening and it slipped out! I'm so sorry, I-"

Andi felt the stress of the moment fill her up until she was about to explode. All these questions ricocheted around her mind. Did Bex just out her to her mom? Is Buffy going to be okay? What of word gets around? If Celia going to slap Jonah? What's going on?

"Okay, okay, okay. This is a lot, I think we need to slow down," Andi said, almost out of breath from this turn of events.

"Okay, Andi, slow this down for me. What's going on?" Celia asked, and Andi took a deep breath, and decided that she might as well go along.

"Me and Buffy are dating. We have been for a little bit, I'm bisexual. Jonah is my friend, and he curses when he's nervous. I'm sorry I said nothing."

Celia seemed to absorb this information with a deep breath, and exhaled slowly.

"Okay."

"What?" Bex asked turning to her mom.

"Okay. Jonah should stop cursing in this house, and I'm not a big fan of how long you took to tell me about the rest, but I understand why it may be tough to."

"God, mom, I'm actually a bit shocked at how und-"

"I'm not homophobic, Rebecca. I watch Modern Family like the rest of suburban America."

It was at this moment when Cyrus and Buffy walked in, giggling something about Kara.

"-and then she throws the entire thing-Ms. Mack? Why are you here?" Asked Cyrus, his worried eyes darting around the room for an explanation.

"I was just talking to my daughter, that's all," she made her way out, "And Buffy? Treat my daughter right."

Bex followed after her, offering a quick "sorry" to Andi.

Buffy looked straight at Andi.

"You told her we were dating? Why would you do that?"

"I should not be trusted to make split second decisions. But she was pretty chill about it," Andi tried to play it cool, but couldn't completely quell the quiet panic in her head.

Buffy sighed loudly, and sat cross-legged on the ground as she picked up a piece of paper.

"What's this for?" Buffy asked, ready to reject whatever came out of Andi's mouth next.

"Planning. We all need to be in on this," Andi responded, trying to seem much more confident than she actually was.

"All in on what?" Cyrus asked, following suit and sitting on the floor.

"Buffy and I need to pretend to date for a while, and then fake through an amiable breakup. I've made my split second decision, and after coming out to my mom, i don't want to test the waters by saying that I was actually lying about all of it. So, we need to pretend we're dating. I have paper and pens so we can plan right."

Silence filled the air for a second, and all eyes were on Buffy, waiting for her answer.

Buffy looked right into Andi's eyes, her emotion indiscernable. Andi found herself stuck in the intense stare, stuck trying to push down the warm feeling that spread through her body.

"I'm in. You know I can't resist a good scheme."

Andi squealed and began to pass around the pens, and the planning began.


	5. Chapter Five: Nathan Is Now Enrolled In Daycare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plan is made. Buffy and Jonah play board games. Leave comments. Also, does anyone know where I could get a PDF online of an uncensored The Picture of Dorian Grey? Asking for a friend.

Cyrus plugs in his phone to play "proper planning music" (it's just the Village People album, because Cyrus thinks he's hilarious), and they get to work.

First, they set up rules.

Rule #1: Tell no one what's really going on unless said person is approved by the GHC (Good/Gay Hair Crew, the team was firmly split on which adjective they would use for the G in their official acronym). Cynthia was approved immediately, Cyrus' mom was not approved at all, and after much debate, Jonah was approved to explain the situation to his Gym Teacher and Trusted Confidante, Mr. Nguyen. 

Admittedly, it was pretty hard to come up with a rule after that. Everything else was either out of their control or dependent on the situation. Everyone wrote that one rule on their paper, and decided to move on to the fun part.

The fabrication of the relationship.

"You told Bex that it started at the middle school dance, therefore it started at the middle school dance. Simple," stated Cyrus.

At this point, the gang were either lying down on their stomachs, doodling on their Rule Paper (Andi and Cyrus, specifically) or playing an intense game of Checkers with the board that Andi kept stashed in one of her drawers (Buffy and Jonah, both of whom were way too competitive).

"You know what else started at the middle school dance? My official relationship with Cynthia. How would we explain that one?" 

At this moment, Buffy skipped one of her red checkers over Jonah's black, and let out a sharp, victorious laugh.

"Easy. Some classic, old-fashioned infidelity," Cyrus responded.

"Noooooooooo-" Buffy droned on.

"-but we could say-"

"-oooooooooooooooooo-"

"-that you and An-"

"-oooooooooo-”

"-di just-"

"-ooo. Not gonna happen. Stop talking. Nope. No," Buffy said, looking at Cyrus with the most disgusted possible look.

"It's not a bad idea. Gives you and Cynthia a reason to 'break up', everyone knows that you're together so everyone knows when you eventually break up and get back together with Cynthia. Cynthia's in on it, so she can fake a mega-dramatic breakup. Good plan, really," said Jonah.

"Except for the part I lose all of my friends who are also friends with Cynthia. And the part where my parents get mad at me for cheating on my girlfriend."

"Fair point. Maybe we should just be mysterious about the origin story?" Andi suggested. 

"No. People want answers. If you're vague, people will think that you're hiding something," said Cyrus.

"But we are hiding something?" Andi reminded.

"But people can't think we're hiding something. Then they'll look into everything and figure out that we have something to hide," Jonah tried to explain.

"Okay, okay. How about we just say something about how friends get together, that applies to the dance and whatever scenario the listener applies. We don't put any dates, and when ask, we provide no numbers. Me and Cynthia do 'break up', but it's amiable and initiated by heard. Andi and I 'get together' soon after. All is well."

Buffy finished her suggestion with a theatrical sigh, and punctuated this with a winning move on her board game.

"That sounds… doable," stated Andi, still hesitant.

"It's not my idea, but considering that you are the pickiest planner here, go ahead," Cyrus said, as he turned his attention back on the dragon he was doodling.

"Looks like a decision is made. Should I pull out Scrabble?" 

Buffy made a victorious nod.


	6. Chapter Six: Nathan Is Doing Well, Made A New Friend Named Harry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been way too long. Sorry. Also, would people be interested in maybe starting something like a fanfiction blast for this fandom? We are lacking in fanfics. Also, the QSA in this chapter is modeled a bit after my own. If you're curious. Also. Comments make my day. Just by the way.

The "breakup" heard around the world happened three days later.

After a contentious text conversation with Cynthia (the entirety of which was sent to the Good Hair Crew via screenshots), Buffy and her girlfriend made a plan for their breakup.

Though Buffy planned and wanted an amiable breakup, Cynthia was more in the mood for a louder, much more involved breakup. Cynthia still wanted to leave the reason for the breakup unclear, and to keep Buffy in the clear, was ready to look unreasonable in her reasons for breaking up. This, they reasoned, would keep Buffy on the right path with her friends.

Cynthia wanted the Dramatic Breakup for the purpose of inundating the gossip cycles, mainly because of her friend, Kara. Kara had an extremely embarrassing mishap with her period that had people talking, and was practically terrified of school because of the teasing. Cynthia figured a distraction for the school was in order.

The actual breakup happened during lunch, as everything in high school does. Buffy and Cynthia sat together at Cynthia's table with her friends (some of which were notorious gossipers, thank god). The "argument" started to be over Buffy's newfound veganism, and quickly turned into a much louder argument about faithfulness. Buffy fulfilled her lifetime goal of splashing water onto somebody's face and stormed off to the Good Hair Crew's table, where they stared at her advancing form, mesmerized.

"I can't believe that that happened, it was crazy," Cyrus said, wonderstruck.

Buffy flipped her hair and giggled.

"It was fun. It's all the satisfaction of venting without the actual consequences. It'll be weird not to be able to hold her hand at school anymore, and stuff like that," Buffy said, taking a seat.

"Venting? Did you vent? Was any of that real?" Andi asked, a thread of hopefulness running through her voice.

"Maybe a little. She is way too obsessed over the whole veganism thing," said Buffy, shrugging. The table quickly moved their topic of conversation to other, less consequential things, not aware of the reverberations that this "news" would cause in the school.

These reverberations became evident to Cyrus and Jonah immediately after school. While for Buffy and Andi, Wednesdays were devoted to working on their burgeoning slime business, Cyrus and Jonah liked to stop by the school QSA. 

Led by Harriet, a lovely person with an undercut and a penchant towards making very glittery promotional signs, the Fairbanks High School QSA was a fairly well-organized Queer-Straight Alliance with a consistent snack flow and a car pool. Cyrus and Jonah tended to go together, and had a well maintained status symbol within the club as snack hogs with high chances of taking a council position in the next year. 

When the pair walked into the meeting, they immediately headed towards the cluster of freshman, engulfed in whispers.

Cyrus turned to Jonah with a look of slight apprehension. Jonah, ever the fearless freshman, gave him a smile and walked straight into the cluster. Cyrus rolled his eyes and nervously took a place in the den of secrets.

"Jonah! Jonah! You're Buffy's friend, right?" Dorian asked, pushing their glasses up their nose in a nervous, hurried gesture.

"Yes," Jonah said, surely. 

"Did you hear about the breakup? The story is-" Dorian stopped and turned their head towards Francine pointedly, "flooded with misinformation."

Francine flicked a lock of her brown bob behind her ear flippantly, turning her gaze towards her nails.

"I have the full scoop, if you all want that?" Cyrus interjected, feeling all eyes turn to him.

"Well, spill," said Dorian.

"So, Buffy sat at Cynthia's table, and then they got in a small argument over Buffy being vegan. Then, other things got into the small argument and then bam, it's a bigger argument. Then they break up, and Buffy throws water on Cynthia's face," Cyrus relayed excitedly.

"That's what I said," said Francine.

"His version doesn't seem to mention Buffy being desperately in love with Andi. Odd, isn't it?"

Cyrus snapped his head towards Jonah. Jonah face him a small shrug, his face telling him to just get it over with it.

"Well, that part's true. But, it's on the down low, you know what I mean?"

At this moment, the entire freshman sector of the QSA devolved into utter chaos, silenced only by Harriet interrupting the madness to begin the meeting.


	7. Chapter Seven: Nathan and Harry Made Each Other Friendship Bracelets, Cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slime business is discovered, texting happens, so does animal crackers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were emojis. Apparently those don't show up on ao3. I wrote the entirety of this while watching Law and Order. I live such a lifestyle. Please comment, because I am not exaggerating when I say that your comments make my day. And if there's anything that you specifically want to see in the story, comment about it. There is a high chance I will include it.

Meanwhile, while the GSA was afire with the news of Buffy and Andi's intense love for each other, Buffy and Andi were calmly working on their slime business.

In the 9th grade class at Fairbanks High School, the slime business was dominated by three major suppliers: Andi/Buffy (specializing in glitter slime, because everyone needs a gimmick), Kara (specializing in multi-colored slime), and Francine/Dorian (specializing in glow-in-the dark). Francine and Dorian were by far the most successful due to their savvy marketing skills. Buffy and Andi had been scrambling to catch up. For Buffy, this scrambling meant making some signs to put up in the girls bathroom (this was, by far, the least policed spot to place unapproved posters in the school). For Andi, this meant finding a good recipe for some kind of niche slime. 

"Hey, do you think that the borders should be purple or pink?" Buffy asked, staring at the markers in her hand.

"Pink. Definitely," Andi responded with a light, relaxed smile. Buffy smiled back, and they held the gaze for a beat, before looking back down at their respective work, the question floating around in their heads.

As Buffy drew out the border in a rich magenta, Andi heard her phone buzz. She picked it up and checked the notification, and yelped at the words on the screen.

cyrus greatman:  
So......everyone knows about you and Buffy please don't be mad at me

Buffy's marker skidded across the page as she started with the shock. 

"What?" Buffy asked, tentatively grabbing a new sheet of printer paper to restart her sign.

"Everyone knows about us. Cyrus must've said something."

Buffy dropped her marker and groaned.

"Get follow-up. Oh my god. Why do we ever leave him alone.

Andi pulled out her phone and typed out a response

Andi:  
Ok, what happened. Buffy is a bit annoyed, btw

cyrus greatman:  
So basically, me and Jonah are chilling at the GSA. The freshmen are gossiping about the breakup, and they ask us about it. Francine drops the question about Buffy liking you and me and Jonah decided to confirm it.

Andi:  
Why are you like this

cyrus greatman:  
Ok, i wasn't the one gossiping. I was just telling the """"truth"""". 

Andi:  
You can't see it, but Buffy is angrily drawing with a marker. A perfectly good marker might be ruined. 

cyrus greatman:  
Hey, I gtg, because I think some freshman gossip is about to go down and I need to stay ~up to date~

Andi:  
I think you are up to date enough, Cyrus

cyrus greatman:  
No, not about the Bandi drama. Dorian's dropping some details about Francine's crush while Francine is in the bathroom bye.

Andi:  
Bandi?

Andi:  
WHAT IS BANDI???

At this, she realized that Cyrus wasn't going to text back for a while. She looked up at Buffy, now focused serenely on her drawing. She cocked her head, suddenly fascinated with the image. 

After what she self consciously thought was too long, she turned her focus back to her work, missing the moment when Buffy looked up at her with the same curious, somewhat scared look that Andi possessed seconds ago.

When Buffy turned her eyes back to her work, she heard the door to the Andi Shack open. Both girls turned their attention towards Bex, we was nervously entering the room, a box of animal crackers in hand. Quiet desperation for connection lit up her eyes, and the pair sat up.

"Who wants animal crackers?"

"Me! Always me," said Buffy, enthusiastically cupping her hands as Bex put some into her makeshift bowl.

"Can I just have the box?" Andi asked, shrugging slightly.

"Sure! Sure, here you go," Bex handed her the box and sat down on the bed.

"So, how are you, Bex?" Buffy asked, scribbling away at her sign.

"Good, good. The Fringe is still as weird as ever. I had to shave the words 'all star' into some millenial's undercut."

"Can you do that for my hair?" Andi questioned jokingly, a smile on her face.

"As long as CeCe never finds out," Bex said, the laugh still in her voice.

"Sooooooo," Bex said, dragging the 'o' for emphasis, "what's the hot gossip? What's the 411?"

Buffy and Andi shared a knowing look, before Buffy decided to take charge of the news update.

"Well, I may have run into a bit of a track problem. You see, Danica, a girl on my track team, is dead set on reaching the school record. This means, of course, that her competitive streak is a bit louder than others. I'm just saying, a runner as poised as Leslie does not face plant unless there is some outside interference."

"Let us not forget your competitive history, Buffy. You are the pot, don't call the kettle black."

"I never tripped someone. Ever."

"I get it. I'm actually supposed to get word on Cyrus about Francine's mysterious crush, though. So that will be an exciting news item," Andi mentioned. Bex, as usual when inundated with this level of high school gossip (which happened at least once a week), looked a bit overwhelmed.

"Francine? I remember Danica and Leslie from the meet, but, Francine?"

"You haven't met Francine," Buffy explained.

"She's more into soccer and Model UN than the track team. She's a bit of an icon," Andi continued, a vaguely starry look surfacing in her eyes.

"Andi likes her," Buffy said, her perky tone soured for a second.

"I don't have a crush on her or anything. I can just appreciate her well-done bob. It's very chic. And she really is an icon, I wasn't exaggerating on that part. Remember that one time that she totally demolished Kahoot in Bio? Classic. Her username was Barry B Benson. I will never forget."

"That was hardly a creative Kahoot username," Buffy said, rolling her eyes.

Bex was definitely not a teenager in love anymore, but she saw the signs of a couple about to fight. The strained voice, the stressed eyes, the oblivious giddiness of someone who doesn't get it. Something less than awesome was brewing, and she needed to end it. Somehow. How, though? After all, it's been a while since the whole teenager in love thing, and nothing she did to remedy a fight ever really worked, even back then. She needed something that would distract. Something relevant to these teens. She had to think back, she remembered reading something about things that teens thought were cool.

"So, vaping?" Bex asked, realizing what she had said. Andi and Buffy launched into confused giggles, laughing at her conversation changer in all of it's wackiness. 

Looking at her daughter and her daughter's girlfriend, practically in tears over laughing, Bex couldn't help but think that she still had it. Maybe, this mom thing could work out better than she thought.

Of course, Andi's phone had to buzz at that moment of quiet self-assurance, because this was apparently Bex's karma for listening to Nickelback.

Andi checked her phone, and had a heart attack at the message.

cyrus greatman:  
..........we all talked with Dorian and after some sleuthing were are 87% sure that Francine has a crush on you (had? I mean, ur with Buffy now so??)

Andi looked up, at Bex and Buffy, looking expectantly at her, trying to figure out what caused her reaction.

"So, Francine might have a crush on me?"

Bex looked at the scene. Buffy's falling face and Andi's conflicted visage. 

Crap.

This was getting messy.


	8. Chapter 8: Nathan and Harry Had A Fight, I'm Worried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So there's a Cynthia-centric chapter, and she's angsty. Also, beginning of (more) drama (?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments: Motivate Me  
> Chapter: Done When Tired  
> Me: Tired  
> Drama: Starting (in the story)  
> Headcanon: Buffy Plays Video Games  
> Comments: Please writer

Cynthia, above all else, wanted to have a full day where she didn't feel markedly insecure about something. Her insecurities ranged far and wide, from the bump in her nose to the fact that Buffy would sometimes look right through her, like she wasn't there. She supposed that this was a result of a disastrously toxic middle school friendship, which, according to Buffy's friend Cyrus (who was apparently the son of multiple shrinks, and was therefore a credible psychoanalyst), led to her constantly doubting the state of her relationships, which in turn caused her to constantly scour herself for the flaw that "ruined" whatever she had. This, apparently, explained her nose bump.

After the psychoanalysis, Cynthia went to talk to an actual counselor who pretty much said the same thing (although she was 99% sure that said counselor was somehow related to Cyrus). 

So, when free spirit Buffy came along, with her lack of fear and a friend group who cared about her, Cynthia couldn't help but fall a little bit in love.

Or a lot in love. They never said the L word ("not lesbians, l-word, Jaedin, the other one"). And as Cynthia saw their situation, that probably wouldn't. 

Cynthia couldn't figure out if it was an illusion of her relationship anxiety or something that was actually there that caused her to see something between Andi and Buffy. There was always something brewing under the surface, like a pot of unrealized feelings water that the people in the water don't know is there. On second thought, that analogy made no sense. Cynthia hates that her analogies don't make that much sense.

This anxiety managed to manifest itself through some petty rumor spreading during lunch, as Cynthia ate lunch with the gang, the Good Hair Crew stayed in her peripheral vision.

"Jaedin, oh my god. Identity theft is a problem, you can't just commit it because he broke up with you," Cynthia chuckled watching Hailey try to be the voice of reason in her group of freshmen screw ups. 

Hailey was usually the voice of reason in these conversations, especially when it came to interactions with Jaedin and her relationships ("it's still cheating if you're in another country, don't cheat on your boyfriend and say that it's okay because you're in Canada", "Why are you attempting to catfish our principal? What made you think that this was a good idea?", "IS THAT A SCOOTER OH MY GOD?!", "If you don't like your grade on the vocab quiz, you can't just eat the quiz good god"). Jaedin was the stereotypical wild child, and Lydia was the quiet one. Sometimes Grant would walk in, sit for the lunch period and make fun of them, but that only happened about once a week. Cynthia, naturally, was the "connected" one. 

Cynthia prided herself on knowing the gossip and knowing who everyone was. This came in handy, as she managed to maintain a level of power that she relished greatly. 

Even though she somehow managed to have this position of absolute power, to be in a position of control over the narrative, she was still somehow hungry for a control that she couldn't reach. This control, more than anything, was about herself. She just wanted to control her feelings: the feelings that ran through her for Buffy, the feelings that stabbed her over Buffy and Andi, the feelings that held her down over the nagging thought that she wasn't as "in" as she should be.

Cynthia couldn't control her feelings, at least not in a way that her therapist would be okay with. Therefore, she had to control other things.

If she was missing something within herself, she had to make up for it somewhere else.

"Is it just me, or is trouble brewing in Bandiland? They seem to be less-than-cuddly," Cynthia stated, waving around her fork emphatically.

The entire table swiveled their view around to the Good Hair Crew, and Cynthia's vision was correct: Buffy and Andi were arguing about something.

"Quick guess? Andi's moving on to greener pastures already. Just wanted to say," Cynthia was shooting blind, but her phrasing was general enough for her to seem right when things in their "relationship" go south.

Of course, a closer look at the image made clear some things. Andi seemed pained over whatever they were talking about. Buffy looked cold, in that way that one looks when they decide that pure numbness is the best way to go about an issue.

Cynthia was terrified of that look.

Cynthia also admired that look.

Neither answer was correct, in Cynthia's book.


	9. Chapter 9: Nathan and Harry Made up, I'm so relieved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lol so I did some text stuff in here?? Idk anymore. I tried out the multi-POV, like a true fanfic artist. Comment! It's A+motivation to continue!

The Gay Hair Crew Group Chat:

Andiman  
How do I ask a girl out when I'm "dating" another one???

Bu44y  
u don't

J(br)onah   
Nicely

cyrus greatman   
Just give her the classic yes/absolutely yes note

Andiman  
Buffy?

Bu44y  
why do u want to blow our cover. ur the one who wanted this.

cyrus greatman   
Pls no drama

J(br)onah   
I agree with Cyrus

Andiman  
Why shouldn't I ask her out tho?

Bu44y  
ur girlfriend, for starters

cyrus greatman   
Don't fight on the group chat pls

Bu44y   
but you and Jonah fight on the group chat all the time?

J(br)onah   
Disagreeing on pizza toppings isn't a fight

Bu44y   
it is when cyrus accuses you of bottling up your feelings

Andiman  
To be fair they moved to private when Jonah brought up Cyrus' mom

cyrus greatman   
Why are we talking about this?? Buffy and Andi, just argue in private

Andiman   
Fine

Bu44y   
ok

\--  
At this, Cyrus sighed in exasperation. He was sprawled luxuriously across the couch, waiting for his mom to finish microwaving the popcorn for Law and Order Night.

Law and a Order Night was a sacred tradition within his family, where he, his mom, his stepdad, and his aunt would lounge around the living room, yelling opinions at the screen. The rules were simple, no texting, all lights other than the screen are off, and no one insults ADA Rafael Barba in front of his Aunt. Law and Order was a Grownup Show, and being able to watch his with the adults in his family was a rite of passage that signified his coming of age better than a bar mitzvah ever could.

So he turned his phone on silent and got ready to watch the show.  
\--  
Jonah knew that on Wednesdays, from 8-9 pm, he was not able to reach Cyrus. Somehow, he had to pass this time while Buffy and Andi worked out their issues. It was at this space in time that Jonah would routinely call the one person that was possibly the worst person to call: Cynthia Brindisi.

Their phone conversations started over Christmas break, when Cyrus was on his vacation and Andi and Buffy were having their 48 Hour Craft-a-thon (this event was practically mythical in the lore of the Gay Hair Crew, and the details tended to be few and far between. Jonah always theorized that Buffy and Andi kissed, or something that would warrant such a level of secrecy). Jonah scrolled through his contacts list, found Cynthia's name, and thought "why not?". 

They would talk about dumb things, like sports they liked to play and gossip that had nothing to do with the people in their friend group. They weren't really friends, not in the way Jonah was friends with people. They were more like allies. When things were weird or lonely or awkward, they just knew that on some level, they could count on each other.

Jonah knew that this was the worst time to call Cynthia, but after all of this Bandi stress, he could use an ally.  
\--  
Francine was sitting cross-legged on her bed, surrounded by her homework and binders. They formed a half circle around her, and she was scribbling furiously at the worn notebook on her lap. Her phone buzzed, shaking the plastic cover of her blue binder, labelled "Biology" in Dorian's pristine calligraphy. She reached over to check the notification.

Against the wallpaper of a group selfie consisting of Francine surrounded by her friends, all of them wearing a way-too-large shirt with the word "Resist" emblazoned across the chest in neon pink. She smiled slightly at the memory, and then dropped her mouth slightly at the text she received.

Hailey(the trustworthy one):  
I'm not a gossip, but I feel obliged to tell you that rumor has been going around that Andi is interested in someone other than Buffy. It is unclear who, but I decided this was relevant after our conversation on Friday.

The Trustworthy Hailey was a weird one, with all of her high strung quirks. But this was valuable information. Francine smiled, and continued writing in her notebook, albeit newly slowed down with thoughts of the possibilities.  
\--  
Bex was watching one of those Netflix comedy specials that her boss always referenced when she heard the faint noises of Andi being angry.

She pulled out her earbuds and put the phone down, and padded softly down the hall to the center of the noise. She heard Andi's incredibly incredulous voice coming in waves through the closed, decorated door of Andi's room. 

"...and Francine li...nd you and I aren't even...why does this even matter? We aren't even dating!"

At this, Bex jerked away from the door. What? Thirsting for more information, Bex moved herself closer to the door.

"I..Francine, Francine likes me too...you are too atta...thing that doesn't exist. Do you want it to be real?"

Then, a stretch of silence. Bex felt the anticipation build up in her.

"Thought so."

With this, Bex let out a sigh, and headed back to her room to collect her thoughts. Apparently, her and Buffy weren't actually dating. This was confusing.   
\--  
Jonah felt his phone buzz with a text alert in the middle of his light conversation with Cynthia about whether or not he should start watching Grey's Anatomy. He pulled the phone away from his ear to check the screen, and found a simple statement shining on the screen.

Bu44y:  
so I think I'm in love with andi. help.

"Sorry, Cynthia, I need to go. Something just-something big just happened."

He hung up and prepared to deal with this turn of events.


	10. Chapter 10: Nathan Is Calling Harry "Boyfriend" and I'm Not Mad, TBH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> people are asked out, and people are acting weird, guess which one's which

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is highkey short and low key (highkey? it's more likely than u think) bad but y'know how that is. Comments motivate me to actually update, and they're just nice? Idk.

As Andi walked down the halls of the school, her eyes scanned the walls to find Francine. It was the morning, and the high schoolers were prone to lounging against walls in groups while waiting for class. At this point in the school year, most groups had established a steady spot to chill, but Francine and her crew were elusively nomadic. They all came fro the same car pool, so they would usually traipse around until they found a good spot. 

And soared past her own friend group, which was rewarded with a mix of eye rolls (Cyrus), worried glances (Jonah), and a petty refusal to acknowledge Andi (Buffy). She glided through hall after hall until finding Francine and her group, in their fully achieved glory.

Andi had identified long ago that there were two kinds of cool kids in her school: the classical cool kids, the members of sports teams and the like, who all looked the same, dated each other, and became prom court royalty. Then, there were the kids that were specifically trendy, a different kind of high school cool. They had distinct style, a tight-knit friend group, artistic inclinations, and were the exact kind of people that Andi wanted to be like. Francine and her crew were safely in the latter group.

And there they were, nestled in a corner of the hallway, lounging and laughing at something on their phones. Andi mustered up every particle of confidence that she could get.

"Hey Francine, can I talk to you real quick," after seeing the panic evident on Francine's face at the question, Andi clarified, "it's nothing bad, don't worry". Francine stood up and stepped over the legs of some of her friends towards Andi. 

Andi led Francine out of earshot, and took a deep breath. Her head felt light with the anxiety of asking someone out, and she tried to discreetly look around so that she was sure that no one else could hear.

"So, Francine. There's a bit of a- um, how should I describe it, I'm just going to call it a 'thing' going around that I am dating Buffy. To clarify, this is sort of a I sort of made a mistake and told my mom that Buffy was my girlfriend so we're fake dating, but I also heard a thing about how you might have a thing for me and I just wanted to say that I'm not NOT interested, y'know?"

Francine's eyes were wide, but there was a hint of a smile on her face. She settled a bit, lingering in the tense pause.

"Well, I'm not not interested too."

"Do you maybe want to be not not interested over some shakes at The Spoon?" Andi asked, confidence pouring back into her voice.

"Sounds not not interesting," Francine replied with a giggle.

"You have my number, right?" Andi asked, getting her stuff ready to go back to where her friends were.

"You bet, see you around," Francine replied, drifting back to her cluster of friends.

Star struck, Andi practically floated back to the lockers with her friends. When she arrived, she was greeted with a worried glare (Jonah), defiant refusal to make eye contact (Buffy), and slight confusion (Cyrus).

"So I just asked Francine out," Andi stated theatrically before taking her spot. Buffy, in turn, stood up and started gathering her stuff. She muttered a non-committal "cool" before speeding off.

"Is she still mad at me?" Andi asked. Cyrus and Jonah looked up at her from the algebra worksheet that Cyrus was getting help on. They looked at each other, having a silent conversation about who was going to break the news to her. 

They decided on Cyrus, who turned to Andi and nodded. Andi sighed, and pulled out her English homework. Cyrus and Jonah turned back to their work, but after a minute or two, Cyrus scribbled a note in the margins.

'what's going on'

Jonah gave him a look, before scribbling his own message.

'Buffy is in love w Andi who likes Francine and it's a mess'

Cyrus sighed heavily, causing Andi to snap her head up at the pair in curiosity.

"What are you looking at?" Cyrus asked, (badly) feigning innocence.

"Never mind," Andi replied as she turned her focus back to her annotations.


	11. Chapter 11: I'm Driving Them To Their "Date" This Is Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dates and fight occur. Also, Lesbian Robot Hamlet? It's more likely than you think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL. I wrote the bulk of this in the middle of the night. I had a burst of creativity?? Idk. Pls comment, those motivate me like whOA. Crap, i should go to sleep. For reference, it's 1:40 AM right now.

Andi and Francine's first date was a sneaky affair. They had to make sure to not stir up suspicions about the fake relationship of Andi and Buffy, because however fraught, their relationship failing would probably lead to the famously protective Celia to forbid Buffy from entering the Mack house again.

So with this, Andi and Francine told their parents and peers that they were going to study for their upcoming history test at the park, which was conveniently, right next to an Olive Garden. 

They met up at this park, where Bex dropped Andi off, an uneasy smile on her face. When Andi arrived, her cream cloth ballet flats became victim to some grass stains as she ran across the field to join Francine on the metal park bench. They exchanged giggles of giddiness over having "gotten away" with something, even if it was as lame as a date at Olive Garden. Andi, in a spur of the moment decision, decided to put her phone on Do Not Disturb, deciding that she didn't need Buffy drama tonight.

…

Buffy and Cynthia were lounged on the couch in Cynthia's living room, the screen playing an rerun episode of Frasier. Their hands were loosely connected, but their minds were miles apart. 

Cynthia was thinking about so many things she could hardly keep track. There was her girlfriend, who didn't love her as much as she needed her to, there was her friends, who didn't understand her like she needed them to, and her own anxiety about being at fault for all of these issues. The possibility was becoming more likely in her mind. 

Buffy, meanwhile, was only thinking about one thing. Andi. Andi, Andi, Andi. Instead of the big picture questions, the hows and the whens and the whys, Buffy thought about the small things. All of the little things that formed the picture perfect snapshot that was Andi. The fact that Inside Out made her cry. The decorated cords of her earbuds. The sanctity of Music Night. It was the quiet things about Andi that Buffy obsessed over, and she began listing them in her head.

Buffy looked over at Cynthia, engrossed in Frasier, and resisted the urge to heave a deep, sad sigh.

…

Andi took a dramatic bite out of her breadstick, her eyes mimicking their deserving-of-parody English teacher. Francine responded with a manic, high laugh, her eyes crinkled happily. 

"Oh my god... I'll never be able to look at her the same way! Next time I see her, I'll just be laughing!" Francine said, a laugh still on her lips.

"Did you hear about what Jonah wrote about for his I Believe Essay?" Andi asked, ready to tell the story. 

"No! What happened?" Francine asked, a captive audience.

"So, Jonah, we all know and love him. We also know that he loves Ultimate. And his boyfriend. And procrastination. So, we got assigned this essay three weeks before the due date, right? Well, Jonah, being the icon who he was born to be, writes it the night before. And here's the best part: he had a cold. So, this man, on NyQuil, writes his I Believe essay. It's opening line is 'I believe that Ultimate Frisbee is the reason that I'm not the worst right now'. There are at least two misspellings already. So, he continues. I read this thing, and let me just say, he goes on all of these wild tangents! This boy spills his heart! In this one essay, he wrote a love letter to his boyfriend, a condemnation of homework, another love letter but this time to NyQuil, and then a small short story about giving up on dreams. The best part? He gets a B."

"What? A B? Why?"

"According to Mrs. Houghston, it was 'passionate and inspiring, despite the errors in spelling and grammar'. She thought it was an art piece!"

"That's privilege, honestly."

"Right? Jonah privilege, I swear."

…

The episode came to an end, and Netflix asked if the pair was "Still Watching Frasier". Buffy looked at Cynthia, shrugging a bit.

"What do you want to watch instead?" Cynthia asked, grabbing the remote and pulling up the viewing menu.

"Something off of the LGBT section, maybe?" Buffy responded, using this break as an opportunity to grab a blanket from the far end of the sofa. 

"Is there anything that won't get awkward if my mom walks in? I don't know if there's anything that's not, y'know, spicy," Cynthia replied awkwardly, curling into herself slightly at Buffy's loss in closeness.

"True, true. We could just watch a documentary, or something. Wait a minute, we could watch a gay documentary! Those won't get weird," said Buffy, as she returned to her spot next to Cynthia. Cynthia breathed a sigh of relief and slung her arm around Buffy's shoulder. Things were okay. This was okay.

…

"Concept: Hamlet, but they're lesbians and some characters are robots," said Francine in between bites of her alfredo pasta.

"Why?" Andi asked, reaching to take a sip of her strawberry lemonade.

"To be, or not to be. But it's like, to be human, or not to be. Human. Sorry, that came way too late," said Francine.

"No problem. And I have questions! Basically, which characters are turned into robots? And which ones are lesbians?"

"Okay. Polonius? Robot. Ophelia? Lesbian robot. Laertes is TBD. Hamlet is definitely a lesbian."

…

Cynthia was very quickly realizing that the situation was not good. Buffy didn't say no to the contact of the arm around the shoulder, but wasn't really responding at all. This worried her. In the past, Buffy was always a fan of casual cuddling, but this newfound indifference inspired a wave of panic in Cynthia.

"So, Buffy, how're things going with Andi?" Cynthia knew that whatever was wrong with Buffy was caused by Buffy's best friend, and the way that Buffy stiffened under Cynthia's arm only served as proof.

"We... had a fight."

Cynthia held in a sigh of relief. This made sense. Buffy was distracted because she had a fight with her best friend, it had nothing to do with Cynthia. 

"What about?" Cynthia asked, trying to be a supportive girlfriend, only to find Buffy stiffen even further. 

"Nothing."

Cynthia paused the television and tried to quell the growing panic within her.

"That means it was something. You can talk to me, Buffy! Whatever you're feeling, we can talk it out! I'm here for you."

"You want the full truth?" Buffy asked.

No, Cynthia's mind immediately supplied.

"Yes, of course," Cynthia answered instead.

"Andi's going on a date, and I didn't really approve of her going on it," said Buffy, forced coolness slipping into her tone.

"Why not?" Cynthia asked, her whole body tensing as she awaited the answer.

…

"... so there I was, dancing to 'Time After Time' with my ex-crush, and we're both coming out to each other," said Andi, putting her food in her to-go box.

"That's amazing! I just made a joke about it, and then bam, I was out! It was pretty chill, actually."

As the two stood up and left the restaurant, food paid for with the leftovers being gently held in its styrofoam box by Andi, they made their way down the sidewalk and back to the park. 

The sun was setting, and the sky cast a pale pink on the scene. The pair exchanged glances, both unsure of where to go from here.

"I should text my mom," Francine said, looking down at the stone path that led through the park.

"Me too," Andi replied, the awkwardness obvious in her voice.

"But before that, we could go on the swings?" Francine asked, turning to Andi conspiratorially.

"I'll race you," she replied with a smile before taking off, takeout still in hand.

…

"You know why, Cynthia. I'm leaving before things get out of hand," Buffy replied decidedly, rushing to her backpack.

"No, no. I don't know why. I want you to tell me," Cynthia said, yearning for an answer after all of this doubt and questioning.

"Because I'm jealous. There. I wish that I was the one on the date with Andi right now, instead of fighting with a girlfriend who is just with me because she's scared that there's no one else," said Buffy. The coldness of her anger struck Cynthia like a fist, and she took a step back.

"That was too far."

"I'm leaving before things get worse," said Buffy, her voice sculpted out of cool stone. She grabbed her phone off of the coffee table and sent a text to her mom. Cynthia found herself on the verge of tears, although she couldn't determine whether they were angry or sad.

"Well, before you leave, I just want to let you know that if I'm here out of desperation, you're here out of fear. You will never have anything with Andi, and you know it. You're so scared of failure, of rejection that you will step on anyone to not fail. You're so scared of the possibility of Andi hating you that you'll never get anywhere. It takes two to play this game, Buffy."

Even though Buffy's mom hadn't even read text yet, Buffy bolted. She grabbed her phone and her shoes and ran. She ran away from that house, and just kept running. She didn't have a destination until she ran past Cyrus' house, and decided to stop there. She dropped herself on the porch, and sent a new text to her mom, Cyrus, and finally, Andi.

…

They both slowed and stopped the swings, panting from the effort of getting their swing higher than the other. Francine stood up and walked away from the too-small-for-her swing, and Andi followed suit. They found themselves facing each other, standing awkwardly on the grass of the park.

"Hey, hey, Francine. I bet you could say that I, I don't know, swing both ways?" Andi told Francine, still breathless.

Francine responded with a kiss.

…

When Cyrus upended the door, confusion written all over his face, he had to look around his porch before he spotted Buffy, frantically tapping her foot on the wooden floor in the corner.

"What happened?"

"Things were said, relationships were most likely ended. The usual."

"Buffy, I swear to god- never mind. I can rebuke you later. Right now, you probably need some hot cocoa and an ear."

"Bless you, Cyrus."

…

Still star struck from that kiss. It took a while for Andi to check her phone. When she did, she was driving in the passenger seat of Bex's car. Bex herself was faced with an odd feeling of guilt for letting this date happen, but decided that it wasn't first priority when she heard Andi gasp.

"What? What's wrong?" Bex asked, panicking.

"It's- it's Buffy."

"What about her? Is she okay?"

"She and Cynthia are over. Crap. I'm sorry, I just, I need a moment."

"I'll give it to you. That's big."


	12. Chapter 12: It Was At A Cracker Barrel? I'm Confused But Not Angry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone is having a lot of thoughts. That's my best description of this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I looked at the chapter count and man, i have way too many chapters of this and still no defined end. I have no planned endgame y'all. So if you read this and think "Andi and Buffy shouldn't end up together, Buffy should totally end up with Francine" then please comment that because I will genuinely take that into consideration. I am basically making this up as I go y'all. Also I love comments? They make me feel validated in my work and inspire me to continue it, so jot that down. Also thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story so far? I love you all thank you so much.

Buffy sat on a worn dining chair table, clutching some hot chocolate and sipping it tentatively. Cyrus sat across from her, his hair disarranged and wild with the new development.

"Okay, okay, okay. That was… a lot. On a scale of one to ten, how fixable is this relationship?" Cyrus asked, stirring his own hot chocolate in a fidgety, anxious way. 

"I honestly have no idea. I don't know if I want to fix it, though. I mean, we said some terrible things to each other, but we weren't wrong. Neither of us were in the relationship for the best reasons," said Buffy, fatigue beginning to show in her manner.

"That's true, I guess. But what are your feelings for her? Do you even like her?" Cyrus asked, finally ending his frenetic stirring to take a sip of the hot chocolate.

"I think I did, at some point. And I love her, but I'm not in love with her, you know?" Buffy asked, attempting to stifle a yawn.

Cyrus contemplated on that for a moment, before taking another sip of his hot chocolate and fixing his eyes on the window behind Buffy, and he began to think. He thought about his life and how it had landed him in this odd hurricane of drama and craziness, and he himself began to question whether he was in love with any part of it. He was certainly used to it, and that steadiness held its own comfort. He never had to doubt where to eat lunch, or how to spend his Thursday afternoons, but he was also caught up in this same mundane cycle of helping his friends (and Jonah, to some degree) out of meaningless drama that he himself thought was the slightest bit juvenile. Was he actively in love with any of it? He certainly loved Andi, Buffy, and Jonah, but he sometimes felt like he was still there because he had always been there. 

"Cyrus? You okay?" Buffy asked, barely anchored to the conversation.

"I'm not sure," Cyrus answered, not breaking contact with the window as he looked through the open blinds to an empty sidewalk.

"You're not sure? What's wrong?" Buffy asked, alarm filling into her face.

"What you said, earlier, about loving things but not being in love with things. I'm thinking."

Buffy's worry seemed to intensify with the answer, her back becoming straighter as she took another tense sip of her hot chocolate. She looked behind her, through the window that Cyrus hadn't stopped staring at. She could practically see the gears of his mind turning, and fear twisted her stomach.

"What are you thinking, Cyrus? Everything's good between us, right?" Buffy asked.

This seemed to snap Cyrus out of his daze, but his face was the slightest bit different when it turned to Buffy. There were stroked of anger and realization in his gaze, and Buffy found herself clutching the ceramic handle of her mug like a life line.

"I think I need some time, Buffy. I just- I need some time. When is your mom going to be here?"

At this new development, Buffy found herself feeling oddly weak, like she was barely holding herself up on the chair.

"I think in about five minutes? But that's not the issue, Cyrus, you need to talk to me. Whatever's going on-"

She was interrupted by Cyrus' mother, walking into the dining room with a homely but awkward smile on her face, trying to survey the situation as best as she could.

"Buffy, your mother is here. She seems worried, I would remedy that quickly, if I were you," she said, trying to cover up the tension with a light chuckle.

"Of course, Mrs. Goodman," Buffy replied, before making her way out of the room quickly, looking back at Cyrus with slight fear.

Mrs. Goodman turned to Cyrus, the question evident on her face, one carefully trimmed eyebrow raised.

"I think I'm going to go to sleep, Mom. Goodnight." Cyrus said, standing up, and trying to quickly dispose of the mugs. Before he could exit, his mother caught him in a quick hug.

"If you ever need to talk to me about anything…" 

"I know, mom. I just need to think a little bit. I might need some advice in the coming days."

"Okay, okay. Just keep me updated, got it?"

"Of course, mom."

…

"Wait, so Colin P. is officially bi? Good for him!" Jonah exclaimed, smiling into his phone. 

Cynthia was on the other end, and her voice was shaky and awkward but neither of them mentioned it. Cynthia called him with a watery voice and a request to "distract" her, so he figured that he could gossip about every situation except her own. 

"Yes! It's nice to have some representation in the soccer team, finally. Now I can have a reason to go to those games."

Jonah gave a light, optimistic laugh. This was nice. A little reprieve from the drama was much appreciated. A part of him, the nosy part that he tried to ignore, was growingly curious about what had happened to affect Cynthia like this.

"Any other Colin news? Now that I'm invested in his life?" Jonah asked.

"I hear he's running for student body president, and apparently that's why this is now public information. It's going to be a part of the campaign. His experience with athletics and homophobic bullying, of course."

Jonah winced for a second, unpleasant memories of sports and that particular brand of bullying. He definitely remembers some choice words from the locker room before he came out and focused his attention on Ultimate Frisbee. His time on the baseball team definitely didn't give him good memories.

"How supportive is his girlfriend being?" Jonah asked, a faded memory of the fear that he had of Amber when he was coming to terms with his sexuality crossing his mind.

"Very. And she's not putting up with any of the backlash. She heard some kids making jokes in the hallway and she ripped them to absolute shreds," Cynthia replied, laughing at the memory.

"Tell me more," Jonah said, letting out a breath that he didn't know he was holding.

"Some kid was talking about how Colin was just trying to be cool, because of the whole 'being gay is cool now apparently' thing that people seem to believe, and she ended him. Asked him why someone would come out, knowing about all of the bullying that they could go through, just because it was cool. It was amazing to watch," Cynthia said, excitement filling her voice.

Jonah smiled at the story, and let out another tired laugh as he looked at the late hour. It had been quite a night.

"I think I'm gonna have to hang up, because if I don't now then I'm not going to get any sleep whatsoever."

"Wait, before you go, I have one thing that I need to tell you."

Jonah's interest piqued.

"Go ahead."

"So, Buffy and I aren't a thing anymore, as you may have heard from her, but I just want you to know that I want us to still be friends. I mean, I know that I'm probably going to be considered persona non grata by Buffy and Andi and maybe Cyrus, but even if we can't be public about it, can we still be friends and have these talks?"

Jonah held in his gasp and his confusion. Why did no one tell him this big news? Was he the last person to know? Buffy had told him about being in love with Andi, why not this?

"Of course. I don't think I could stay sane if I didn't have someone to talk to," Jonah said, masking his confusion and hurt with casual positivity. 

"Good night, Jonah Beck. You're a good guy."

"Good night, Cynthia Brindisi. I try my hardest."

…

Andi laid in bed, her phone off of Do Not Disturb and faced up. Her eyes were open, and her brain was busy and frantic. She was waiting for a text, an explanation of any kind.

She sat in complete silence for a minute or two before resolving that she wouldn't go to sleep in this state, so instead she would just stay awake on her phone until she got any communication.

To pass the time, Andi took a journey down memory lane through her camera, swiping further and further into the past and reminiscing on some nice memories. She paused momentarily on some of the nicer ones, like a picture Buffy dressed in a Minion costume from the local costume shop, or Cyrus and Jonah mid-karaoke rendition of some cheesy eighties love song. There were a notable amount of pictures of Buffy in this photo album, Andi realized as she swiped past a picture of Buffy that she forgot that she took.

The picture was the sort of relaxed candid that were rare with Buffy, and it's rarity gave it this odd ambience of sanctity, as if this picture was somehow special. It was just a casually snapped photo from a music night, where Buffy was smiling softly to some silly song that Cyrus was playing too loudly (most likely from Veggie Tales, if Andi's memory was correct). Buffy looked happy and open and honestly gorgeous. This overwhelming rush of an undefined feeling panicked Andi to a point where she moved on to the next photo.

To Andi's horror, the next photo was of one of the crafts made from the 48 Hour Craftathon, sliding in an onslaught of memories with a force that almost made her fall off of her bed.

With some mortification ringing through her body, Andi remembered the Truth or Dare game that the two played, somewhere in between some adventurously-made fortune tellers and a shoebox diorama of the Andi Shack. The truths and dares began with cutting of a strand of Buffy's hair, and ended with Andi admitting that she hadn't had her first kiss. What transpired after this admission was the most tense length of silence that Andi had experienced, as the two girls sat too close to be entirely platonic, and Buffy chewed her lip with indecision. Andi's eyes had been wide as saucers as Buffy gave her a quick peck and quickly ended the game of Truth or Dare.

They never talked about it again, and generally didn't think about it. Sometimes, it would cross Andi's mind and give her a stress-headache until she resolved to forget about it. It would then cross her mind a month or two later, and the cycle would continue.

The event seemed especially relevant right now, and the force of it led Andi to turn off her phone and place it face down on her bed. 

It was then that her phone buzzed, signaling a text. Andi reached for it with am anxious level of speed, and checked it.

Bu44y:  
sorry if I freaked u out, I'll explain tomorrow. also, I'm worried abt cyrus. I know that a lot has happened recently but I really want us to be ok

Andi breathed a sigh of relief before sending her reply.

Andiman:  
Of course we're okay. We just need to talk tomorrow

Bu44y:  
of course. goodnight.

Andiman:  
Goodnight.

With this, Andi let out a large sigh, and flopped on her bed. What a night.


	13. Chapter 13: Nathan Is Banned From Cracker Barrel Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian POV chapter!!!!! I've been looking forward to writing this since before summer started!!! As far as summary goes, there's a school lunch, Cyrus is having a midlife crisis confirmed, and Colin P. becomes a "series regular".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! And now that my schedule is becoming solid and less weird, start expecting more regular updates. Also, tell me your opinions about the Hannah Montana series finale in the comments, I included many arguments for and against her decision in this. And I realized that I do need to update the tags so please suggest those too because I'm at a loss? And we'll this might be one of the longest chapters so far and that scares me because this is an interlude? Im also realizing that there are a lot of chapters in this and I'm wondering if I should break it up into one of those story series instead of requiring people to click through, like, forty chapters. Please tell em your opinions on this. This is literally my first legitimate fanfiction and I'm clueless.
> 
> Also, thank you so much for reading? I realized that I've been working on this for a while and I'm grateful for all of you readers?? I feel like a can't properly express how grateful I am that some of you have stuck with this questionably-paced and under-edited story. Thank you all.

There were many words to describe Dorian Winchester.

Member of the QSA. Relentless Gossip. Best Friend to Francine. Nonbinary. Good at Calligraphy. Ghost-phobic. The list goes on.

The best word to describe Dorian, though, had to be tired. 

Eyelids drooping, bags under their eyes, and in a love affair with coffee, Dorian was exhausted. It had a lot to do with the sheer amount of stuff that they had to do, from their tough classes to the effort that it took to maintain their social life, it was quite difficult to be functional at the beginnings and ends of her day. 

It was all worth it, because in every impossible, crazy day, Dorian got to have the lunch period to end all lunch periods.

It was shoved right in between their two hardest classes, Algebra 2 and Biology, and they were forever grateful for the oasis in the desert of their schedule.

The lunch period, placed in the corner of the cafeteria, included their favorite people in the world: Francine (best friend), Gregory L. (there were two Gregory's in their grade, and this one was vastly superior), and Kara (Dorian's crush, who was currently trying to set them up with Lydia, despite many protests). There were some other floaters, who would drift in and out of the corner table, but the central group was strong and, in Dorian's opinion, at least, absolutely amazing.

Despite the fatigue weighing them down, Dorian could tell that this lunch period was going to be one for the books. Lydia and Colin P. was sitting with the group, and they were all passionately debating whether Hannah Montana should've gone to college or been in the movie that she was offered in the series finale. 

The debate was evenly split, with Dorian, Lydia, and Gregory on the pro-college side and Kara, Colin, and Francine arguing strongly for the pro-movie side. 

As Dorian sipped the coffee that their brother (a senior) grabbed at the nearest McDonalds on his lunch break, it became slightly clearer that Francine was distracted. She kept looking at something on the other side of the cafeteria, and when Dorian decided to follow her eyesight, the sight that met them made them want to roll their eyes so far back that they could see the brain.

Andi and Buffy seemed to be having a serious conversation, their voices pitched low and words impossible to decipher. Jonah and Cyrus were sitting away from them, giving the couple some kind of privacy.

As the debate continued firing on despite the distraction of Francine and Dorian, Dorian decided to throw in the towel and comfort Francine. They discreetly pulled out their phone and sent a quick, "Just because they look serious doesn't mean that there is anything at risk between you and Andi. Chill out. Drink your Capri-Sun and let me prove you wrong on this Hannah Montana thing" text.

As Francine's phone buzzed and she checked it way too quickly, as if she thought that it was from Andi, even though she watched Andi not send a text with a hawk-like focus. In response, Francine shot Dorian a thankful look, and jumped back into the debate.

Dorian refrained from sighing in relief. 

At least they put out this fire before it became an actual problem. Dorian put out fires like this quite often.

"Hannah won't be a pop star forever! What's she gonna do with only a high school education? Judge cable television reality shows until she finds herself unable to connect with youth?" Gregory asked, taking an impassioned bite of his cookie.

Dorian cleared all thoughts of Francine liking Andi and all of her drama, along with the undercurrent of worry over this whole Lydia/Kara situation. Erasing it off of the cluttered page of their mind, Dorian let out a quiet breath of calm before launching back into the debate.

"True. And even if, like I know you want to argue, she can go to college at any time, the chances that she'll even remember a lot of the stuff that she learned in high school could definitely be forgotten over the wait. When she goes back to college, she'll find herself at a huge disadvantage because of that," Dorian stated, mind focused back where it needs to be: the series finale of Hannah Montana.

"If she goes to college, what would she even study? She obviously has a passion for, and only for music. And maybe acting, but that's secondary. The best option for her career would be to capitalize on her current fame instead of going on a four year hiatus, getting a degree that she doesn't need, and making a comeback to an uncaring public," Colin argued, passionately gesturing.

"What if her music career doesn't even last that long after she does the movie, though? What will this girl, with a high school education, do instead? She at least needs something to fall back on, and she can get that with a college degree," said Lydia, trying and failing to push a lock of her dark, curly hair away from her face. 

"And to add on to that point, why would a movie help her career? If she wanted to keep up her music career, why isn't she considering not going to college so she could go on a world tour, or something like that? I mean, musicians going into movies hasn't always worked well for their careers. Usually they either switch to movies full time, or everyone just ignores that one, terrible movie that they were in," Dorian added, holding back giggles at the absurdity of it all.

"Yes! Hannah Montana might take the Marky Mark Wahlberg route, you never know," replied Lydia, hardly restraining her own giggles.

"How dare you. I cannot believe this. You brought Marky Mark into this, I might have to leave," Colin scoffed, his voice offended but his smile blazing across his face. 

Colin, Lydia, and Dorian all shared a look and broke down in helpless laughter. As it faded out, and the trio came down from their laughter-infused daze of utter teenage joy, Dorian looked at the other members of the table and felt their face fall.

Kara looked overwhelmed and a little sad, eyes darting between the smiling trio with the face of someone coming down from an unwelcome epiphany, while Gregory's focus had turned to Francine and her worried face as she stared down at her phone.

So many fires to put out, so little time. 

Taking an enthusiastic gulp of their coffee, Dorian decided to figure out Francine's issue first, and then confront what would most likely be a harder problem to solve with Kara.

"What's wrong, Fran?"

"Something Andi texted me. Apparently Andi can't go to Cheesecake Factory with me because of something with Buffy?" Francine looked up from her phone, her unevenly drawn-in eyebrows furrowed.

"Buffy's dating Andi, makes sense that she would have priority," Colin stated, slightly uncomfortable. 

"Yeah, Francine. Why are you two even going to Cheesecake Factory together, anyway?" Lydia asked, her smile vanished. Dorian missed that smile more than they thought they would.

"We're working on a project together," Francine lied, stumbling over project in a way too obvious to be believable.

Colin and Lydia shared a worried look, before turning it to Francine. Kara and Gregory were slightly more in the loop, although they definitely didn't know the full story. They turned to Francine, eyebrows raised.

Dorian buried their face in their hands.

"What's the project for?" Kara asked, seemingly recovered from her epiphany to examine the gossip being presented to her.

As the silence began to thicken around the table, expectant eyes resting on a quickly-reddening Francine, Dorian realized that this was her fire to put out. It was her job to sweep up this mess for her dearest friend.

"Okay, I'll tell y'all, but if anyone hears about this every single one of you will find yourselves in either debt or a grave," Dorian began, letting all eyes fall on her until she continued.

"Andi, Francine, and I are planning a prank. We're talking something epic. The kind of project that requires resources and secrecy."

"What's the prank?" Kara asked, her dark eyes shining with something that Dorian couldn't exactly figure out.

"I'm going to give you a bunch of phrases until it becomes clear. The loudspeaker. Britney Spears. A female dog. Our national anthem. Gay anthem? That's right. It's what you all are thinking. It's Britney, bitch, indeed."

Francine's relief was visible, and Dorian passed the baton.

"Indeed. I have connections with the front office, Andi is secretly good at all sorts of technology, and Dorian here is a legendary project manager. But it must be kept under wraps. This is precarious as hell, and one hint to the front office can lead to the entire mission collapsing. This is big. This is the sort of thing that we all live for. Complete secrecy is needed."

This was all a lie, of course. Francine hadn't even been to the front office, and Andi had just learned how USB drives worked, but the people bought it. Shining with delighted smiles of people who were let in on something big, the entire table was silent and overjoyed. 

Another fire, successfully put out. Thank god. All that was left was Kara.

The bell rang, letting out for lunch, and the people of the table dispersed, heading to their classes. Dorian debated whether or not to catch Kara and walk her to class, but decided to confront that issue when it wasn't so fresh. 

Instead, Dorian spotted Cyrus packing his stuff up, waving goodbye to Jonah, who was already on his way to class. Dorian decided to join Cyrus, who was a casual friend (he had once sat in on a lunch with the corner table, which had spawned the infamous "Mr. Cooper is actually God" theory). Catching up quickly and usual greetings before beginning to walk to class, things seemed pretty average.

"So, what was going on with Buffy and Andi? Francine was worried as-"

"If that sentence doesn't end with 'heck', I'm calling the police. And it's just the usual dumb stuff. Y'know, they fight and then Buffy breaks up with her girlfriend, and also I'm having a crisis? I had a wild night last night."

Dorian was reeling with the new information, and decided to sort out the bulk of it later.

"Crisis? What the-"

"-heck-" Cyrus supplied.

"-is going on?" 

(Dorian liked to almost-curse just to mess with Cyrus. The little guy needed some jokes in his life, considering the drama fest that was his friend group. Even Francine had to admit that, no matter how infatuated with Andi she was, that group was prone to the dramatics.)

"Buffy was rambling about surviving but not living and it just made me think. I mean, why am I doing all of this? Do I even enjoy this stuff? These people? I think I just need a change, honestly," Cyrus rambled, like he was holding it in all day and just let it out. On second thought, that's probably exactly what happened, Dorian realized with a pang of sympathy.

"Maybe you just need to branch out, do something without the squad beside you. You could run for student council, or join birdwatching club. Maybe have lunch with our corner of the cafeteria again. I mean, you won't be able to really tell if you need a change if you don't at least test one out. I mean, you don't have to restart your life, but maybe branching out could do you good," Dorian suggested, sneaking looks at Cyrus' concerned face.

"I think you may be right, Dorian Gray."

"My last name is Winchester, Cyrus."

"Let me make my literary references. I've been holding that one in for a while."

"I got that vibe. But just remember, if you run for student council, don't go for the president spot. Colin P. is aiming for it, and I've gotta support my friend."

"I'm your friend too!"

"He asked for my support first. I'm a loyal friend."

"I got that vibe," Cyrus replied, and when Dorian looked at him again, his concern face had melted into something much more easygoing and relaxed.

Another fire successfully put out. 

"So, what's the deal with you and Lydia?" Cyrus asked, eyebrows waggling.

Another fire successfully lit. Dorian's job was never done.


	14. Chapter 14: Nathan's Not Only Banned From That One Cracker Barrel, It's Every Cracker Barrel Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with the Macks and a party. A lit time all around. Also announcements for this fic in the author's notes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy y'all!!! So this chapter was long?! Also I have set an end for this fic, but the story will be continuing in a series. This is the first installment in what's going to be a longer set of stories, so that's ~fun~. I'm trying to figure out the title of the next installment, so that's definitely fun. And yes, in case any of you will ask, the separate story that I've been writing entirely in the titles of each chapter will continue. You will have the pleasure of following Nathan through his adventures. Also, I haven't done this yet, but follow my tumblr! I'm TheSubtextMachine on that too, and if you ever want to tall about the story or just talk in general, I'm 10x more accessible there. 
> 
> I appreciate your comments and I wouldn't have gotten this fair without them. Love y'all.

The plans were set in stone, official and everything. Andi had only caught on at the last quarter of the debacle, so when she discovered the the Mack Family was inviting Buffy to dinner, to debut the couple as an actual couple to the whole family, she knew that there was no reversal of the plans. 

Of course, Andi was stressed beyond belief. How could she force her healing relationship with Buffy through the stress of being a couple in public? How could she explain to Francine why she was canceling their date to be in a relationship with Buffy for a night?

It was a shame, because Andi was definitely looking forward to her date with Francine. They were planning to heckle the newest animated disaster they could find in a (mostly) empty theater. This was definitely preferable to trying to walk the thin line between looking like a realistic couple while not making Buffy uncomfortable. 

Despite the unpleasantries, Andi knew that she had no choice. Even though they weren't the absolute sanest people in her city (Celia and Ham were very emotionally invested in the ongoing plot of the Big Bang Theory, after all), Andi knew that she still loved them and that this was just a sacrifice that she had to make. 

It was still, however, very difficult to tell both of the girls that she was (more or less) involved with about it.

Buffy responded oddly to news like she usually did. Her eyes got wide, and she shifted awkwardly before shooting a panicked glance to the seat that Cyrus wasn't occupying. She then gave a quick, unhealthy-sounding "okay" before changing the subject. 

Francine's reaction was more expected. Andi broke the news during a "study date" in Francine's living room. She returned the news with sad eyes and a supportive smile, the words "whatever you need to do for your family" sandwiched in between niceties and rescheduling of some plans. It was the kind of interaction with Francine that struck Andi with a rush of gratitude, that the stars had somehow aligned to let her be with Francine. While Andi often wished that the alignment of the stars allowed her to not have to keep Francine a secret, she guessed that there were some wins and losses in the game of constellations.

Things worked out for better, since the next day Francine was invited to a party at Gregory's house on the day of their cancelled date, which Andi knew Francine would've missed. Francine was also tasked with putting the playlist together for the party, and with some suggestions from Andi that were 75% joking and 25% serious, they both had good plans for the night. 

When Buffy had gotten used to the idea of the dinner, about a day or two later, they began to prep for the dinner. The technicals were handled over a series of passed notes in English (they were watching a some bland film adaption of Romeo and Juliet, so they weren't missing out on anything), while the emotional aspects were discussed and hammered out in a series of morning meetings in front of Buffy's locker.

The rules established in those (awkward as hell) meetings were few and simple. The first, Francine or Cynthia should never be mentioned, even in passing (Yes, Buffy knew that everything with Cynthia was over, but she was nothing if not cautious). The second rule was that they would participate in some physical contact, whether it be hand holding or heads on shoulders, but no kissing would occur. The third rule, was that if at any point one person wanted out, they just had to mention "smooth jazz" and the two would figure a way out.

The only thing left was the dinner. They had planned well, but nothing could untie the knot resting perpetually in the bases of their stomachs.

…

"So, Jonah. Party tomorrow, Gregory's house. You wanna bring Cyrus and have a night to relax?" Cynthia rattled off the information with the speed and casual tone that Jonah almost thought she was Buffy, for a quick, guilty second.

Of course, as his mind immediately corrected him, Buffy hates phone calls and the caller ID said "SINthia bRADisi" (she chose it, and Jonah regrets the decision to let her do it herself every time she calls), but the likeness is uncanny. Since Buffy's mood and attitude was changing more every day, Jonah held back sad laughter at the realization that Cynthia reminded him more of Buffy than Buffy did.

"I can ask Cyrus. What's the party for? Is there any info I should know?"

"It's at Gregory's house, and not asshole Gregory, it's gonna be socialist Gregory. It's gonna be pretty casual. Not a rager, or anything. Dorian's in charge of the guest list, so there's not going to be anyone who we both hate there."

"Who we both hate? Wait a minute, is Jared-"

"Yes, Jared Farland is going to be there. I don't get your issue with him, he's an okay guy-"

"He just rubs me the wrong way! I can't explain it! You would get it if you had to sit through his paper on how teens are addicted to their cell phones."

"Does he participate in self-congratulatory nihilism? Of course. Do I hate him? No! He's an okay guy who thinks that he's cool because he's realized that nothing is worthwhile. Let him live."

"Okay, okay. I just won't talk to, and I'm clenching my fists as I say his name, Jared Farland. So continue. This party, what's the deal?"

"Gregory's parents are on a business trip, so he's throwing a party. It's not a 'let's ruin this house' party, it's a 'let's pop each other's pimples in the bathroom while the fifth Ice Age movie plays in the background' party."

"Your high school experience never ceases to baffle me."

"Anyway, there'll be a punch bowl, so some alcohol might make the rounds, but nothing major. They won't break into the liquor cabinet or anything. Worst case scenario, some of Kara's friends from Model UN will smoke pot in the backyard. It's just going to be a chill party, with a dance floor that no one will dance on. Come to it with your boyfriend, enjoy yourself."

"As terrifying as this pimple popping scenario seems, consider me in."

"Oh, and I remembered! The man of the hour's gonna be there. Apparently, our favorite school celebrity Colin P.'s going it make an appearance."

"Really? Campaign stop?"

"Wow, pessimistic much? Maybe he is actual friends with the people at the party?"

"Is he?"

"I don't know. I'm a gossip, but I'm giving him some space. I mean, he's obviously going through a difficult time, and even a heartless ice queen like me knows when someone needs some time to just live. Once he breaks up with his girlfriend, though, I'll be in full reporter mode."

"Wow, Cynthia Brindisi has a heart. Who knew?"

"You did, you sap."

"Cynthia Brindisi? More like Mother Therisi, am I right?"

"I'm hanging up."

"SINthia Brindisi? More like VIRTUEthia Brindisi."

"Bye, Jonah."

"Cynthia BrinDISSi? More like-"

…

The night of the fateful dinner, Andi put more care into her clothes than usual. Buffy was arriving in about an hour, and she was still over analyzing her clothing choices. She was on the verge of texting Francine to ask if burgundy was an good color for introducing your (fake) girlfriend to the people in your family after coming out in a bombastic fashion, or if the occasion would be better suited with a nice purple when her phone buzzed with a text from Buffy. 

Andi grabbed her phone with a speed only previously found in superheroes and cheetahs on performance enhancers, and checked it with anxiety slowly moving its way from the base of her stomach to the middle of her back.

Bu44y:  
okay, is green a good color for "hi andi's parents, I am her girlfriend and yes she isn't straight, sorry for that shock and yes we've been friends for years please don't worry that I'm gonna get her pregnant I won't I promise"

Andi let out a light, relieved laugh, trying to ignore the "Francine wouldn't be able to get it like Buffy can" that crosses her mind.

Andiman:  
1\. Yes, green would be a good color  
2\. Thanks for not getting me pregnant I appreciate it  
3\. Would burgundy or purple be a better color for "This is my girlfriend who I kept a secret from you for god knows how long because I thought that you could be homophobic, but the mere notion genuinely offends you that I would presume you to be homophobic"

Bu44y:  
burgundy, all the way

…

When it was official that Cyrus was going to the party, Jonah was struck with a collage of realizations that usually tended to hit before he was going to do anything that put him in a situation in which he had to be some sort of public figure.

It usually happened before parties, and the occasional first meeting of a club or the first day of school. 

The barrage of realizations would start slow and then increase to an exponential rise, until he was paralyzed, staring at his reflection in the mirror whilst clutching his hair gel in his hand like it was the only piece of reality.

The first realization came, as they tended to do, when he was figuring out which shirt to wear. It was the decision between red and blue, and he remembered that he cursed when he was nervous, and Cyrus hated cursing.

This small fact gave him the first notes of anxiety, but he chose blue and continued on with his life. It was when he was trying to arrange his hair to be cool without being smarmy that he remembered that the majority of the people there knew him as Jonah Beck, part of the Gay Hair Crew instead of Jonah Beck, Cool Guy. He was suddenly hit with an inappropriately serious question of whether he had an identity outside of the people he spent time with. He smiled at the mirror, faking it until he made it.

His smile began to falter, and he was reminded of the fact that he had been executing an entire friendship behind the backs of the closest people in his life. Buffy, Andi, and Cyrus had no idea that he called Cynthia every night for gossip and some time away from the constant stream of awkward glances and tension. He was being pulled from a defiant "I'm allowed to relax without feeling guilty" to an anxious "I'm a bad person for going behind my friends' backs" like it was a ferocious game of tug of war.

Nonetheless, he kept getting ready for the party, trying to ignore the constant reminders and realizations. It was nights like these when he realized how similar he actually was to Cynthia, and that scared him more than he cared to admit.

…

When Buffy knocked on the door of the Mack household, an actual race ensued to see who could get to the door first. Bex won, because she was the one who was closest to the door. Celia was a close second, even though she was on the other end of the house. Andi was last, and as Buffy entered the Mack House with a grace that could only come with experience, she was struck with how much her family actually cared about this. Celia was doing everything but actual parkour just to meet Buffy, and Bex was anxiously awaiting and examining every moment.

As Buffy smiled with ease and waved to a bemused, pleasant Ham, Andi tried to run a checklist in her head of everything that she needed and that needed to happen. She was dressed, of course (in burgundy, of course), and she had made sure that the food tonight was reasonable and not a risk to Buffy's allergies (or, correction, allergy. Buffy was allergic to strawberries, and Andi tried her absolute hardest to keep Buffy away from the fruit at Gay Hair Crew meals). Everything seemed to be in order, but there was some piece missing from the puzzle that put Andi on edge.

As the group moved into the kitchen to start loading up their plates, Buffy lagged at the end of the small crowd to put a reassuring hand on Andi's shoulder. Andi gave a grateful smile with sad eyes that she didn't have the time to decipher.

"It'll be okay, Andi," Buffy murmured, low enough as to not draw attention from everyone who Andi at one point or another considered a parent.

"If you say so."

…

When Cyrus walked into the party, Jonah on his right, his mind was preoccupied with some small details that Jonah mentioned when inviting him to the party. The first was that Cynthia extended an invitation to Jonah and Cyrus, which went without any explanation. The way Jonah mentioned it, as if it was a quiet afterthought that was awkwardly forced in the middle of a sentence, made Cyrus more suspicious than anything. The other detail, nagging on his mind was that Jonah mentioned Colin P., who was apparently the guest of honor for reasons that Cyrus wasn't aware of, in an odd, cagey tone as if Colin was some inside joke that Cyrus was not a part of.

Despite the distractions weighing on his mind, he separated from Jonah to make the rounds with his friends at at the party. His first stop was Dorian, who was clutching a party sized bottle of Orange Fanta, and was drinking from the heavy bottle casually.

"Dorian! What's up? Also, what's the deal with the Fanta?" Cyrus asked, painting over the concern surrounding Jonah with a casual tone of voice and a relaxed smile.

"I claimed the Fanta, so this is mine for the rest of the night. And I'm doing good! I mean, I'm stressed because I sorta like these two girls and one of them is trying to set me up with the other but that one seems to be going through something? I don't know. I'm just going to focus on this Fanta. It's not as good after what's approximately the second red solo cup's worth of Fanta, but I'm not going to wimp out now. I don't know, the biology test really messed with me." Dorian said before taking a sip of their Fanta.

"Wanna pour me a red solo cup of Fanta and you can tell me more about your love triangle?"

"Hell-"

"Heck."

"Heck no. Get some Coke. If you're passionate about a fruit flavored drink, Gregory has some lemonade in his refrigerator that he's not letting us drink, but I'm pretty sure you could convince him to give you some."

"As flattered as I am by your impression of my ability to convince people to do things, I'll just grab some Coke. Maybe I'll say hi to Francine. How's she doing with the whole Andi and Buffy dinner thing?"

Dorian shrugged, before turning her head to check on Francine, who was in the middle of a heated game of Apples To Apples with Gregory and Kara. Francine looked distracted but functional, and Cyrus held back the urge to shrug at nothing in particular.

"So, where's the Coke?"

…

The dinner with Andi's family was strange experience, constantly switching from painfully awkward to something that could only be described as "easy". The speed at which Buffy's conversations with Bex about Andi's opinions on Buffy the Vampire Slayer could turn into stilted discussion over how long they had been together in secret gave Buffy whiplash.

Despite all this, there was some joy in playing a part, even if it was something that would occasionally strike Buffy with unfounded, impossible-to-combat sadness like her fake relationship with Andi. Ham tried his best to diffuse the tension, and was usually successful, but some moments would still manage to crawl under Buffy's skin.

There were the suspicious glances from Bex, who looked guilty more than anything. Buffy wondered if she was guilty for outing Andi to Celia and Ham, or if it was something else entirely. Either way, sometimes Bex would look at Buffy with something that felt like it was more of an apology than anything else. 

Celia was on better behavior than anyone at the table expected, possibly even Celia. She was keeping the biting comments to herself, except for one moment, when the meal was coming to a close and Buffy was sipping the last of water. 

"Good work on the food, Ham. Would've bend better if this dinner was a year ago, when this relationship started, but foresight is 20/20."

Ham responded with a warning look, and Buffy exchanged a sad, guilty look with Andi, who looked like she was on the verge of bringing up smooth jazz. Buffy pulled her gaze from Andi to see Bex and her reaction, and found Andi's mother looking at the floor as if it knew the solution to this mess. 

"So, what's for dessert?" Buffy spouted, impulsively and a little bit too fast. 

"We have some vanilla ice cream in the freezer," Bex replied quickly, grateful for the distraction.

"Can we have some? Maybe we can take advantage of the chocolate sauce in the fridge?" Andi added, a smile appearing on her face at the proposition.

"Why not?" Ham said, offering a good natured smile and standing up, making his way out of the doorway of the dining room to the kitchen.

…

As Cyrus lingered by the large bottle of Coke, trying to carefully tip the liquid into his red solo cup (with his name written on it in Sharpie, because Cyrus was nothing of not afraid of germs), he surveyed the party with tired eyes. Jonah was lounging on a worn out couch, having his makeup done by a giggling Lydia, and Francine had moved from the Apples to Apples game to check on her playlist. The Bluetooth speakers were softly playing some old, French song, and Cyrus felt like he was an extra in a movie.

Looking around the party, he tried to figure out where the movie would be placing its focus. Jonah and his makeup? Francine and her music? Dorian, sipping from her Fanta bottle while having a quiet conversation with Jared? Cyrus couldn't decide. He focused instead on filling his cup with the perfect amount of Coco-Cola, before he was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.

He whipped his head around to see a stranger, looking even more out of place at the party as Cyrus felt. The mysterious stranger had a grateful smile on his face at seeing someone who wasn't occupied.

"Are you going to be done with the Coke? Or should I try to get some Sprite?" the stranger asked, leaning a little closer to the table and pushing a piece of curly, blond hair from his face.

"I will be soon. I'm trying to get the perfect amount," Cyrus responded, pouring a little bit more into his cup.

"What's the perfect amount?" the new guy ask, looking into Cyrus' cup.

"Somewhere right between 'I'm nervous so I just put some in and ran' and 'I'm doing this on a dare'. Very fine line. I have to be meticulous, I have an image."

The stranger laughed, before grabbing the bottle of Sprite. He poured some in his cup, but stayed at the table. Cyrus had finished filling his, but stayed nonetheless.

"What a party, huh? Did you see the theatre kids play truth or dare in the backyard? That was an experience, for sure," the stranger asked, head turning to face the door to the backyard before looking back to Cyrus.

"I just got here, so I'm afraid I missed it. What went down?"

"The usual. Someone had their first kiss, Justine used to have a crush on Nathan, and Jaedin unhooked Hayden's bra with one hand. Under the shirt, of course. But still, wild time," the guy responded, reaching over to grab a handful of potato chips.

"Did you play with them? Anything embarrassing happen?" Cyrus asked, taking a conspiratorial sip of his cup.

"Well, I had to drink a glass of water while plugging my ears, and someone else had to actually lift the glass and have me drink from it, so I'm traumatized," he responded, shuddering with the memory. 

"Sounds like it," Cyrus replied in between laughs.

"So, what's your name? Now that you know about the most painful thing that happened to me this month, I feel like I should at least know your name," he asked, punctuating the question with a sip of his Sprite.

"Cyrus. Cyrus Goodman, or as some people call me, Cyrus GREATman," Cyrus answered, putting his hand out for a handshake.

This stranger almost looked shock enough to do a spit-take. It was a marvel that he swallowed the Sprite, considering how comically wide his eyes were. He managed to take the handshake despite this reaction, which had caused Cyrus to worry.

"You're Cyrus Goodman? As in, Jonah Beck's boyfriend, Cyrus Goodman? I've heard so much about you! After I came out, everyone talked about how it was just like Jonah and Cyrus and I knew about you and I've definitely seen you in the halls but I never connect the face with the name, you know? And just, wow."

Cyrus let out a breath of relief. 

"Wow, I was worried. Yes, I'm Jonah Beck's boyfriend. And who are you?"

"I'm Colin. Colin P., specifically. I came out recently, so a lot of people made comparisons."

"Colin P.? The man of the hour? It's a pleasure to meet you! Jonah mentioned that you would be here," Cyrus replied good-naturedly, although he secretly wanted to understand this odd inside joke that Jonah had about Colin with Cynthia.

"Yeah, I haven't formally met Jonah, but a lot of people want us to become friends. He seems like a cool guy, I guess."

"Wait, so can you tell me the scoop on his whole 'you coming out' thing? Because I feel like I missed some big news story. It's like that one time that I missed an entire Kardashian pregnancy, y'know?"

"You missed an entire Kardashian pregnancy?"

"It was Kim's second one, and I didn't spend a lot of time at grocery stores that year. Anyway, please update me on this news story."

"Okay, okay. So it started when..."

…

Somehow, the process of having the entire Mack family (plus Buffy) crowded around a table with ice cream instead of an actual meal was a much more pleasant experience. As the group casually traded stories and jokes over melting ice cream, Andi and Buffy found themselves forgetting that this was an act.

Sometimes, like in the middle of Buffy's story about Jaedin bringing a scooter to school and riding down the halls in a tin foil hat, Andi would remember the truth quickly and painfully. It was like almost falling asleep before suddenly being shocked in consciousness. 

Usually, whenever she was hit in the head with the fact that this wasn't real, Andi would immediately cover it up with a spoonful of ice cream (with way too much chocolate sauce) and add a story on of her own. Seeing how Buffy would go from smiles to a look of sadness and then right back to smiles, Andi figured that she was employing the same methods to deal with the weird feeling of melancholy that came with this sort of game.

It wasn't like Andi and Buffy hadn't pretended to be a couple before. There was the occasional moment when they would hold hands at The Spoon to avoid flirty dialogue with that one cashier at The Spoon (his name was Justin, he had a crush on both Andi and Buffy, and sometimes Andi always gave him bad reviews on the survey that got them free cookies whenever he looked at Buffy for a few seconds too long). There was that one time that the lady at Costco gave Andi an extra sample "for your girlfriend", nodding towards Buffy, and Andi didn't correct her. 

Somehow, this hurt more than the other times. Probably because of her family, because Andi hated lying to them, but she wondered if there was something more. 

After all, this was the longest that they kept something like this up, and it was much more real than it usually was. This wasn't some dumb, minor PDA, this was meeting the parents. This was the kind of things that people in actual relationships did.

It all made Andi overwhelmingly sad. It was the kind of sad that made her want to do something reckless, something dumb. She knew this feeling. It was the kind of sad that made her each a jumbo Hershey's bar with almonds (and she didn't even like almonds) in one sitting. She found herself inundated with it, overwhelmed with it. She wanted to do something dumb.

So, Bex, for the school dance, could you drive me and Buffy?" Andi asked, innocent smile on her face despite the alarms going off in her head.

"Sure! When is it?" Bex asked.

"I'm not sure of the date, but it's in a few weeks," Andi replied before sneaking a look to Buffy.

Buffy's face was making the journey from shock to anger and disbelief, and Andi hated herself for it.

"Hey, Andi. Have we listened to that one Anita Baker album for music night? I think it's called Smooth Jazz, or something? I have a song from it in my Spotify and I think it would be a good pick," Buffy asked, her eyes wide and angry, her smile big and perfect.

"I don't know, I think it would be a good thing to ask Cyrus, though. Wait, what time is it? Buffy, when are your parents coming to get you?"

"Pretty soon, I'm going to text them and check," Buffy responded, standing up from the table and taking her bowl to the sink. Andi followed her with her own bowl, ready to fix whatever catastrophe she had caused. Bex looked back at her with a knowing gaze, and Andi felt like the world was collapsing on her.

…

"Is anything absolute??? No!!!" Colin exclaimed, his almost-empty cup threatening to spill soda with his enthusiastically gesturing hand.

"Definitely! I mean, I want to be a psychiatrist, but you know what? That could change at any moment! It's wild!" Cyrus responded with just as much enthusiasm.

The chatting pair had migrated to the couch, where their fatigue with the long week began to drag on them until they were giggly and spacey with the exhaustion. Colin was placed awkwardly on the arm of the couch, while Cyrus was trying to take up as much space as possible.

Dorian had joined them on the couch, now a solid three quarters of the way through her Fanta, but she was having a quiet conversation with Lydia on the side not occupied by a sprawling Cyrus. Dorian kept sneaking nervous looks at Kara, who was painting Cynthia's nails with a bright blue color.

"I mean, I want to be student body president. Will I be though? We can't tell for sure!"

"Wait, you're running for president! That's awesome, man!"

"Yeah, it is! I don't know what to do for my posters though."

"Punnnnns, bro," Cyrus replied, dragging out the 'n' with a lazy flair.

Colin found himself giggling helplessly. Cyrus replied with a raised eyebrow, which only made him giggle harder. He was at risk of falling of the armrest that he was perched so precariously on, before Francine interrupted them.

"Hey Cyrus. Colin. Lydia. And Dorian, I've got a question."

Dorian turned their head and laid back on the couch, head falling awkwardly on Cyrus' shoulder.

"What's up? Did you run out of songs on your playlist? Just play Kidz Bop classic, 'Wake Me Up Inside' on repeat and you'll be good," Dorian responded, smile evident in their voice.

"It's not that, I'm just having a crisis. I mean, what am I doing? Eagerly awaiting a text message from my girlfriend who's at dinner with her girlfriend? I don't know what to do or why I'm doing it and please make a space on the couch," Francine rambled off her issues, and started walking towards the couch. Dorian and Cyrus made space, and tried to comfort her when she had situated herself on the couch. Colin and Lydia looked hopelessly confused, and were trading glances.

"It's just, I don't know. Am I the other woman? Is she the other woman? I'm just so confused. Can I have some Fanta?" Francine asked Dorian, voice rich with overwhelmed emotion.

"Of course. Do you want a cup? Cyrus can get you one."

"I can even write your name on it and make it fancy. I'm talking hearts over the 'i', no holds barred."

Francine nodded and buried her head into Dorian's shoulder. Cyrus jumped up from the couch and ran to the cups. Colin followed him slowly.

As Cyrus wrote "Francine" in cursive on the cup, Colin gave him a questioning look.

"Okay, this is top secret, but just know that Francine is in a secret relationship with An- someone. Secret relationship with someone. And this someone is in a fake relationship with B- someone else. And everyone involved isn't exactly enjoying the ride. Including the accomplices," Cyrus explained hurriedly, before finishing the heart on the 'i' and rushing back to Francine.

Colin stood, dumbstruck for a moment, before following Cyrus, left with more questions than answers. 

…

"What the hell was that, Andi?" Buffy asked as they stood on her porch, waiting for her parents' car in the biting, winter air.

"I wish I knew. I really-" the sound was cut off by nothing in particular. Andi just stared at Buffy, angry and terrifying and so different from what she remembered.

"I can't keep doing this. I'm doing this for you, you can't keep doing this."

"I know! I don't know if I can keep doing this either. It's not fair to you or to Francine or even to me. I just don't know what else to do. They really like you. They really like the idea of you with me. And I want us to stay friends after this! I don't want Celia to be rude to you or-"

"She'll be rude to me if we keep this up for two more months and then breaking it off. This is going to have to end. The outcome will be the same. We already know that Celia and Ham and Bex aren't homophobic, with or without me."

"It's over after the dance."

"What?" Andi's statement sent a wave of shock through Buffy.

"After the dance, we'll break up. I already made that dumb mistake, we can't turn back time. We go to the dance together, then it's over."

"Okay," Buffy responded, face trained into a cool exterior with a storm of something indecipherable barely peeking out from the facade.

"Okay."

With this plan, they both stared into the night, watching car after car pass, awash in a malaise. 

…

Comforting Francine had turned into a group endeavor, and Dorian was designated project manager and shoulder to cry on, while Cyrus was chosen to be the one who actually spoke to Francine. Colin and Lydia were the bodyguards, framing Francine on her right and her left, giving warning glances to those who gave the motley crew odd looks. Jonah had joined in, and was the distraction. He was attempting to sing "Before He Cheats" in a Russian accent on Gregory's outdated but functional karaoke machine. 

When Francine had reached some level of peace, the party had resumed to some kind of tweaked normalcy. It was as if everything was business as usual, albeit with small edits to reality. After seeing Francine cry (this was Cyrus' first time, and it shocked him how miserable she was capable of looking), everything was slightly different. 

For one, Jonah seemed to have lost all of his qualms about being friends with Cynthia, and even though he was just out of ear shot of whatever conversation was taking place in the kitchen, over some lemonade (Cynthia managed to convince Gregory to let up on his lemonade ban), Cyrus knew that this was average for them. They exchanged jokes and gossip with a speed that confused Cyrus, but he moved on despite this development.

He wouldn't tell Andi and especially not Buffy, but he didn't tell them much of anything these days. He did the majority of his confiding with Dorian and recently, Colin, who was caught up on his emotional business. Cyrus and his growing sense of doubt came spilling out somewhere in between the moment where Colin grabbed a handful of Doritos, shoved them all in his mouth, and ate them while maintaining unbreakable eye contact with Cyrus and the moment where Cyrus drew stars and the word "cool" on Colin's face and arms with a purple marker.

Cyrus was lounging with Colin, Dorian, Francine, and Lydia, and they were playing a lazy game of "Never Have I Ever" whilst ignoring the dance floor with as much effort as they could muster. 

"Never have I ever... cheated on a test," Dorian drawled, lazily sipping what was left of their Fanta.

Francine and Lydia clapped their hands guiltily. 

"Have I copied the answers of a homework? Totally. Haven't cheated on a test, though," Cyrus said, casual as ever.

"You rascal," Dorian responded, eyes rolling with affection.

"Never have I ever, um, fallen in love with a stranger," Lydia asked, uncertain.

There was a pause, before Colin clapped his hands, face strange. Dorian clapped soon after, reluctantly.

"Wait, what counts as falling in love with a stranger?" Dorian asked after a pause.

"You see a stranger, and you're like, 'this is it', I guess. I don't know, I haven't done it, so I have no idea what it entails? It's up to you, man," Lydia replied, defensiveness showing in her voice.

"Anyone wanna dance?" Cyrus cut in, trying to break the tension, sitting up from his reclining position on the couch. Colin shrugged and sat up as well. 

"I'll get the song selection ready. I'll play something truly cheesy, you'll die," Francine said, already moving towards the phone.

"Bring Me To Life!" Dorian called after her, standing up to follow.

The volume was turned up, and suddenly the sounds of some old horns played amidst some retro drums. A voice sprinkled through the speaker, and Cyrus was already on his feet. 

He was walking towards the dance floor, moving in a way that he hoped looked as cool as it felt, and turned to see Francine and Dorian already joining him on the dance floor, doing a semi-awkward two step. As the song escalated, Colin hopped on the floor too, managing to appear much more casual then all of the, combined. Cyrus found himself smiling, infected by the disco. His movements began more energetic, and he tried to casually dance to Colin.

"Nice save, huh?" Cyrus asked, voice louder than usual as he tried to speak over the music.

"Great save. Dance with me," Colin responded, holding out his two hands. Cyrus took them, and suddenly the two friends were twirling and giggling, enjoying the glow of being young and clumsy.

As the song began to escalate, Lydia joined in, dancing towards Dorian and exchanging awkward, pleasant smiles. Cyrus gave Dorian a wink, to which they responded with an overjoyed eye roll. 

Cynthia and Kara soon walked on, dancing together like this was the beginning. Cyrus couldn't help but wish her good luck, despite everything. Jonah followed soon after, making a B-line towards Cyrus. 

"Hey Colin, have you met Jonah?" Cyrus asked, unclasping one of their hands, pointing toward his quickly approaching boyfriend. Colin's eyes widened, and he let go of Cyrus' other hand to hold out a handshake, eyes like saucers.

"Jonah! I've heard so much!" Colin yelled over the song.

"Colin, right? Nice to meet you? Cyrus! Wanna dance?" Jonah responded, quickly turning to Cyrus.

"Of course!" Cyrus replied enthusiastically, shooting a quick smile to his old dance partner before being pulled into a dancing position by Jonah. 

The music hit its climax, and Cyrus and Jonah danced, twirling and dipping off into the Fanta-Orange sunset like the end of a fairy tale.


	15. Chapter 15: Now I'm Afraid To Walk Into a Cracker Barrel, What If They Recognize Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We've got a mediocre interlude. It's all building up to the school dance, guys.

The two texts came at the same time, as if Andi's upcoming dilemma was fated to occur.

Bu44y:  
jared and his girlfriend want to have a double date. what do you say, ~girlfriend~? it's at 6 on saturday

Francine<3:  
Concept: You, me, Casablanca screening at the movie theater close to my house. 6 on Saturday. 

Andi received the pair on a previously pleasant Tuesday night, doing her homework in the Andi Shack with a "violin music" playlist softly playing in the background. She looked at the duo of texts, feeling the violins surrounding her become more ominous with every second. She let the doom close in on her, before closing it out with the best of her ability to focus on the homework in front of her. 

What a conundrum, she thought to herself as she filled in the answer on her vocabulary homework.

...

"Wait a minute, I have a dumb question," Colin stated, turning to Dorian as they walked towards their shared Biology class.

"Shoot, man. I mean, it's kind of a dumb scenario. I mean, this could've easily been solved if anyone involved actually sat down and thought before they made a decision, so a I feel like dumb questions are warranted," Dorian responded in a tone that could only be described as 'salty'. 

"So, if Andi and Buffy aren't actually dating, what about that whole group? I mean, how legit is Cyrus and Jonah's relationship?" 

Dorian tried to ignore the worried glint of hope in Colin's brown eyes, instead focusing on the possibilities of jokes to be made.

"No, they're dating for real. Why do you ask? Holding the torch for Jonah? Do I need to make a 'Jolin' fan page?" Dorian asked jokingly, trying to keep the hint of accusation out of their voice. If Colin did have a crush on Jonah, then Dorian could not be held responsible for the things they would do to keep Cyrus safe.

"I don't have a crush on Jonah," Colin said, head looking down on his feet, still moving down the hall, voice too serious to ignore.

"Holy shit," Dorian responded, slowly swirling into their own mind as some puzzle pieces began to click into place, before realizing that the was a whole new puzzle. This was a forest fire to put out, and now it was Dorian's job to fix.

"Please don't say anything," Colin pleaded, avoiding eye contact with Dorian.

"What about Elizabeth?"

"Elizabeth? We ended it a bit ago. I'm not she wants. And the other way around, I guess. She's into Jared. They're actually going out now, I think, so good for those two."

"Which Jared? Jock Jared or Nihilist Jared?"

"Not sure, if I'm being honest," Colin replied, tumbling over a humorless chuckle.

"Probably Jock Jared. That's the kind of circles that Elizabeth runs in, right?"

"She goes to jock parties but she sits with the Model UN crowd, so I'm honestly not sure. She's kind of a social chameleon. I think that's why we worked well together for as long as we did, we were both good at putting our heads down. But after a came out, I guess I just didn't really want that anymore, you know? After I came out, there wasn't an excuse, if that makes sense. Because I was out, so why shouldn't I talk to that cute guy who I see in the halls all the time who's at the table of a party? Why shouldn't I ask his name and find out that he's the most taken person I could find in any given area? Why shouldn't I keep talking to him?" Colin rambled it all out at an increasing speed, where the beginning felt slow and awkward but the end was a fountain of words, tripping over each other.

"Man, you're trouble. Last time I felt anything resembling that I was in love with one of my best friends," Dorian replied, nervous undertones at the words 'love' and 'best friend'. 

"Francine?" Colin asked, finally turning his head to Dorian.

"Kara."

"Holy shit."

"Holy shit, indeed. If it was Francine, though, it would be a true fiasco."

"A love quadrilateral, if you will," Colin joked back, relishing in the renewed lightness.

"Pentagon. Kara's trying to set me up with Lydia. So Lydia would be involved somehow."

"True! Also, don't forget Liam. And Cynthia!"

"Poor Liam! He has the most obvious crush on Buffy! Remember that one time she asked for answers on the geometry homework and he almost died? Never forget."

"Love septagon, then? I need to graph this out. I honestly need to graph out all of the actual love drama just to understand it," Colin laughed out, feeling oddly optimistic about his own drama.

"It moves so fast, just draw it in pencil. Who knows, invite him to work on a few campaign posters and you might be able to draw an arrow from Cyrus pointing at you," Dorian added, not thinking about the flippant words they said.

"Really?" Colin asked, and Dorian could feel the world pause with the way the two were thrust back into seriousness.

"We shouldn't be talking about this," Dorian responded, suddenly uncomfortable with the very real reality that Colin was pining after a happily-taken Cyrus.

"I'll drop it, then. Thanks for being someone I can talk to about this," Colin stated, his voice quieter than usual.

"Anytime, man. Anytime."

...

Andi and Francine sat together in the cafeteria, separated from everyone else as they worked on a poster together. They had immediately chosen each other as work partners for their World Geography project, and they were looking forward to the lunch periods and mornings they could spend together whilst over-complicating a simple project. 

This lunch period was spent almost entirely on word size for handwriting, and as the pair searched for the perfect height of the 'p', they enjoyed the easy silence punctuated by brief interludes of small talk and gossip.

"So, Andi, any word on Casablanca? Your mom say yes?"

The words immediately threw Andi into panic, and she ruined the 'o' that she was carefully penning.

"Not yet. It might be Ham's birthday, although I'm not sure," Andi responded, trying to sound as cool and measured as possible for an anxious teen.

"Cool. Should I go for pink or purple for the Guam section? I feel like purple may match the palette better, but I think a good purplish pink sums up Guam's vibe."

"Go for the purplish pink. We can change it later if it ruins the palette that much," and with a quiet sigh, Andi felt herself be lulled back to the easiness of Francine's presence.

"So, in news other than the color palette, Lydia, from Cynthia's table, is going to ask Dorian to the dance. There's a production planned. I don't want to spoil anything, but let's just say that there's a teddy bear involved," Andi looked up from where she was carefully writing in the birth rate in Ethiopia to see Francine, smiling down at the paper with the glee of being in on a plan. A rush of affection came to Andi, and she found herself smiling along with Francine.

"How many people are in on it?" Andi asked.

"Not many. In terms of the gossip network, this is only beginning to circulate around some of the gay sources, but it's pretty lock and key."

"Gay sources? Are there categories to the gossip mill here?" 

"Of course! I'm source for the LGBTQ hipsters, while Dorian is the notably more credible source for our group and a bunch of other niche groups, like the science nerds. Cynthia's a pretty general source, she's up to date on a lot. In terms of band drama, Jerome is my personal guy, but band is a wild card."

"Who knew it was so complex?"

"Most people who get their gossip from root sources, pretty much. The further you go down the grapevine, it gets more pedestrian."

"How much gossip is there about me? Since you are exposed to so much of it."

"Not a lot in the grand scheme of things. Like, if Ashley Sidoren was to break up with her boyfriend tomorrow, that would be big. You aren't Ashley Sidoren levels of gossip-worthy, if that makes sense. Most of your drama circulates through your group and those on its periphery."

"I get that. What about Jonah?"

"Jonah's big news, and because I know you're going to ask, Cyrus is considerably smaller news but there is definitely some news out there surrounding him. Mostly whenever anyone thinks he's cheating on Jonah, or the other way around, which happens more than you'd think."

The two ignored the other name of the Core Four, Buffy. Andi could probably guess that Buffy wasn't a huge deal in the gossip sphere, other than her relationship with Cynthia. 

Though things were okay, more okay than they had actually been in a while, Andi couldn't help but allow the unsettled weight in the pit of her stomach grow heavier with Buffy-related worries. It was obviously some kind of problem, since Francine took such pains to ignore it. 

...

On another end of the cafeteria, the absence of Francine made the group much smaller. When Francine, the beating heart of the lunch table left, many constant members took a lunch period off, leaving only Dorian, Cyrus, and Colin to eat in relative peace. Dorian was "blasting music" (no else in the cafeteria could hear it, but "blasting" seemed much more punk rock than "playing at a reasonable volume"), and Cyrus and Colin were passively playing a series of tic tac toe games. Colin broke the easy silence in a way that was quiet, almost as if it was part of the music playing in the background.

"Hey, Cyrus, wanna join the dance committee with me? It would look good for presidential candidate but I want to have a friend the-"

"Of course. Also I win."

"I let you win."

"Sure, Colin."

Dorian tried to shoot Colin panicked "why are you doing this to yourself" looks while simultaneously giving Cyrus panicked" why are you letting him do this to himself" looks. It was more difficult than one would image. Instead, they settled on seeking out Lydia to give her some "I'm with two idiots, wish you were here, go to homecoming with me but don't make a big deal about it in front of Kara" looks, which was difficult but not I possible.

...

Lydia saw Dorian look at her from across the room with a gaze that could only be compared to that of an anxious soccer mom trapped in a room with her husband and his lover. Lydia decided to send back a pitied smile, which seemed to be the right thing as Dorian motioned to Cyrus and Colin, rolling her eyes and giving a light smile.

Lydia turned back to the events in front of her, which were moderately entertaining.

Watching Jonah and Cynthia pretend that they didn't call each other every night and text each other whenever anything big happened (Lydia caught a peek at Cynthia's call log, and it was almost humorous) was on of Lydia's favorite activities. She was too polite to say anything, but there was some surreal quality in the two pretending that they just happened to be up to date on all of the same drama, and that the random, odd reference that would surface every once in a while wasn't some kind of inside joke.

Cynthia had mentioned enough about the saga with Buffy for Lydia to understand, to a degree, why Jonah and Cynthia kept their friendship a secret, but some of this was absurd. She rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone from under the table, deciding that she could miss a few beats of Jonah and Cynthia's faux-casual discussion on Elizabeth's relationship drama. Lydia shot a quick text to Dorian about the whole affair, trying to keep the eye roll emojis to a minimum.

Dorian sent back a similar message about Cyrus and Colin and their weird vibe, which Lydia had only begun to pick up on. Her eyes flickered back to check on Cynthia and Jonah, and she immediately set her phone down at the realization that their conversation had taken a turn for the serious.

"So wait, Colin is definitely not single?" Jonah asked, worry present in his furrowed brows.

"Definitely. With interesting timing too," Cynthia replied, looking quickly at Colin and Cyrus, laughing over their game of tic tac toe.

"Do you think Cyrus-"

"I don't know. I don't think so, but I've never been one for predictions. I mean, considering my utter failure at predicting the-"

"Katrina/Luke/Justin saga, I know. No one could've guessed how that would've turned out."

"Jared did, to be fair."

"Ugh, Jared."

"Just, protect your heart, man."

Lydia suddenly felt uncomfortable, like she was invading on their space. The other members of the table had either entered their own, private conversations or migrated to a different table. Reluctantly turning back to her phone, Lydia sent Dorian another text.

L¥d1a:  
Okay so I think Jonah is officially worried about Cyrus and Colin

Dorian G(r)AY:  
......don't tell him about the fact that they're officially going to be on the dance committee together, then. Jonah's gonna misinterpret that. Colin is definitely misinterpreting it. So is Cyrus? This is already looking like a mess.

L¥d1a:  
At least we've got each other to stay sane. And Gregory. 

Dorian G(r)AY:  
Bless Gregory. And <3\. I gtg, these two nerds are discussing their favorite musicals and I need to shut this down before Colin starts being an ass about Andrew Lloyd Webber

Smiling fondly down at her phone, Lydia clicked it off and gave a look to Dorian, obviously mid-distraction from Andrew Lloyd Webber. She felt a thrill of excitement at the dance invitation that she was crafting together, and turned back to her food.

...

Later, during the last period of the day, it was a movie day in English. As the class rearranged their chairs to watch some adaption of Romeo and Juliet, Andi and Buff found themselves next to each other, passing notes on a haphazardly torn out sheet of loose leaf paper.

The notes spanned a wide range of moods and relevances, from the occasional "lol Mercutio is gayy" messages to the "it's been a weird day. Probably failed my math test??" notes.

It was around the scene where Romeo and Juliet met for the first time, that Andi got the message that she had been dreading.

"So, double date w jared? I need to RSVP"

Buffy pretended that she didn't see Andi's face. It gave her the answer she needed. The confusion, the terror, the sadness, it was all there. Buffy sighed, and waited for a response. Finally, Andi wrote it out and passed it to Buffy carefully.

"Sorry, can't."

Buffy felt a flare of anger and confusion, even though she knew this was the outcome. She wrote back a response, asking a question she knew the answer to.

"Why?"

There was a long pause that Buffy spent watching the movie, blocking out her peripheral vision and all of the pain it caused her.

"Date with Francine. Sorry, can't cancel again."

The words were shoved in her palm, and Buffy hated everything about the scene, from the headache building in her forehead to the way the paper harshly hit her skin, all sharp corners and abrasive edges.

"I get it," she wrote back in her black pen, even though she didn't. Of course, on a technical level, she understood the basics. Andi chose Buffy last time, so she had to give Francine the sake privilege. On the other levels, the ones giving her a headache, it was an enigma.

She continued watching, nonetheless. There was nothing else to do. Andi didn't return a note, and Buffy didn't exactly want to write a note back to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is late!!! It's been a tough few weeks. Although is my vague memory of my outline is correct, the next chapter's gonna be... not this chapter. Please comment and kudos and all of that magic! I just want to thank y'all for reading, im feeling sentimental.


	16. Chapter 16: They Go On Dates to the Park Now, You Can't Get Banned From a Park, Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Crew has Music Night and proceeds to miss some texts.

The sky surrounding the Andi Shack was dark grey with rain that it hadn't yet released, ready to release the storm at any moment. The teenagers inside of the Andi Shack felt similar: their stomachs turned uneasily with the promise of tomorrow, and their fingers fidgeted in nervous patterns as their minds tried to figure out what was to happen next, from best case scenario to the catastrophic reality. 

Cyrus plugged the speaker into his phone, announcing that the album he was going to play would be some "Best Hits of Frank Sinatra" compilation to "celebrate" the rain. 

Jonah held back the bitter "didn't know you liked Sinatra. Colin development, maybe?", and instead sprawled out on the floor in the most comfortable position possible that he could manage. Andi and Buffy simultaneously wondered how close they should be, eventually settling into an arrangement where just out of arm's reach. 

Before starting the music, Cyrus took a peek out of the window, feeling the urge to go outside and go thunderstorm-viewing with Colin, or to be watching a bad movie on his big couch with Dorian. The small, mean voice in the back of his head that spoke ill of everyone he loved whispered that he didn't want to be in those places as much as he wanted to be anywhere but here with anyone other than these people. With this, Cyrus began the music. 

He took a spot nearby Jonah, pulling a blanket from a chair to the floor with him. Wrapping himself in the blanket, he closed his eyes and let the music wash over him and calm him down. Somewhere, on the other side of the room, his phone lit up with a text that he had just missed.

...

K(ool)ara:  
Okay so this is a weird question but would it be awkward for you to keep hanging out with me if i dated Cynthia? We're having a date @Subway (yes I know that u prob think that Subway's a trashy place for a date, but that's beside the point) and Cynthia and I are having a debate

Kara sent the text amidst giggles and "no, don't!"s from Cynthia, and when she put her phone down, text sent, Cynthia was attempting to make an exasperated face. It ended up appearing much more benevolently exhausted than truly exasperated, and the face itself launched Kara into another round of laughter. 

"It's a serious question! I mean, Jonah and I have to pretend that we aren't friends because it's awkward, who knows if the same applies to you?" Cynthia punctuated he statement with a bite of a potato chip, which came with the kids meal she had ordered. To increase the effect, she reached over to take a passionate sip from her juice box, which had also come with the kids meal. This detail was all the more amusing to Kara, who continued to laugh.

As the conversation eventually flipped to something that their English teacher had said, Cynthia and Kara forgot about the question that they sent Cyrus.

...

As "Fly Me To the Moon" wafted out of the speakers that Cyrus and Andi lent each other so often that they forgot who owned them in the first place, Andi's fingers fidgeted in their clasped position. She willed herself not to look at Buffy. Instead, Andi willed herself to let her mind wander to places that didn't include her curly-haired best friend, like her bob-wearing girlfriend, or the calm camaraderie of her Arts and Crafts Club. 

The whole occasion felt overwhelmingly wrong, like the group was somehow committing some sort of wrong by forcing themselves against the grain of fate to lay on the floor and listen to Frank Sinatra. As much as she tried to warn herself that this was just some paranoia, Andi could help but panic a little bit. 

She felt hyper aware of her surroundings, from the the way that the cracks and crevices in the wood floor beneath her felt through her thin socks to the way that Buffy shifted ever so slightly.

She heard a buzz of a phone receiving a message, but tried to force her mind away from that train of thought. It was probably her phone buzzing, too, her mind helpfully supplied. Andi tried to imagine whatever text she had gotten, as she didn't get them often. Andi was never one to be a part of group chats, and the majority of her texting log consisted of Plan-Making and the occasional homework question.

...

Francine<3:  
So,,, I know this is a sort of awkward question but what's the deal with the dance? I know that u probably have to go with Buffy but I need confirmation? And maybe dance with me a little? I know it's Music Night, text back when you can.

Francine was having one of those nights that made her wonder if she liked having a social life enough for her to actually continue to maintain one. 

Francine was occupying a state of relationship exhaustion that few will ever know, as she sat in her room, laptop playing some pirated television show. She had just had a disagreement with Dorian (the two refused to get into an honest fight, they just disagreed and stewed on said disagreements until they ran out of the energy to care), Andi was still Dramatic, and her entire friend group was slowly changing in a way that worried Francine. 

All of these small waves of change had turned into a tsunami. The fact that Gregory was obviously hiding something would've have been as big of a deal a few months ago, but now it was momentous. Dorian and the secrets that they obviously shared with Cyrus and Colin wouldn't have been worrying if it wasn't a drop in the ocean.

Dorian decided that instead of doing something that was obviously destructive, she would do something that sounded like a better idea than it was. She texted Andi with a (sensible) question that didn't have a right answer, because there weren't many other things to do. 

Dorian supposed that she could start pestering Dorian about their web of secrets, but that seemed like a house of cards that Francine didn't want to be involved in. 

Andi didn't answer her text, so instead Francine sighed and let herself fall on her bed, sighing long and deep. Things will get better, she reminded herself, they have to.

...

Somewhere in between "Witchcraft" and "The Way You Look Tonight", Jonah, despite himself, found himself trying to come up with an excuse to leave. He started by running through the usual options: stomachache, toothache, worried parents, headache. He quickly realizes that Cyrus would probably try to help Jonah with the aches, because Cyrus never goes anywhere without having some semblance of a first aid kit. Jonah then remembers that not only does he know that his parents are as lackadaisical as Jonah, but that the entire Good Hair Crew knows this. 

As Jonah begins a second draft for an excuse in his head, he realizes what he's doing. 

Jonah hasn't been this person for a while, he thinks. Of course he's had his bad weeks where he wanted to be anywhere but with his friends, but this doesn't feel like a bad week. This feels like eighth grade, shoved in between two teen homophobes in a booth at the local pizza place, ignoring texts from his girlfriend while talking about the baseball game that they just won, appreciating the sad, sympathetic looks that Coach Nguyen would give him. 

He remembers with a start the promise that he made to himself, after he quit the baseball team and finally ran after the life he wanted. He promised to himself that he would never let that happen again.

But here it is, happening again as if Jonah was cursed to live out this fate over and over, but with different people. 

This isn't the hell that was baseball, Jonah reminds himself, but this certainly isn't heaven either. And Jonah doesn't want to resent the people he cares about.

Jonah decides that he can sit through this, just one more time, before taking a break. He needs a break, the thinks. He doesn't notice the text he gets, because his mind is so caught up in everything that's happening.

...

Jaedin "Wild Card" Molina:  
Hey man, I know we don't text a lot but do you know what's up with Cynthia? She won't tell me where she is and i have some PRIME gossip

Jaedin was having a quiet night in. Her parents were having a date night, and her older brother had left early to go be loud in some park with his friends (she had a weird brother. He was a Computer Science nerd, and he liked to go to parks with his friends to scream their vocal cords out, because AP Computer Science and teenage boyhood apparently did that to them) 

She had put on some Disney movie, and was digging in her ramen cup with vigor, trying to keep the soup off of her sweatshirt. She texted Jonah after sending a suite of unread messages to Cynthia.

Jaedin didn't really have epic gossip, but she figured that the lure would get Cynthia's attention. 

Technically, Jaedin had some suspicions that she could turn into gossip, but she wanted those to develop a little bit before actually saying something. Her major current suspicion was Asshole Jared saw something at the party that had to do with Francine's group, since he would shoot them knowing looks at them from across the lunchroom. 

Jaedin knew that technically, she shouldn't ask Jonah first about where Cynthia was, considering that it was a ""secret"" that they were friends. The fact that they thought that they were anything that could even be considered a synonym to sneaky was frankly hilarious. Jonah himself was the least subtle person that Jaedin knew, and Cynthia was only marginally better. Punctuating the line of thought with a roll of her eyes, Jaedin turned her phone off to turn her focus back to The Lion King, bobbing her head slightly to the song that was coming up.

...

As Buffy laid on the floor of the Andi Shack, she found herself in the odd position of being the only person enjoying this.

Discontent was radiating off of everyone, from Jonah's tense sighs to Cyrus' anxious stance, Buffy could tell that if they all had their choice, none of them would be in this room right now. Nonetheless, Buffy felt something that resembled happiness. Her favorite people were all around her, music that she actually liked (despite the accusatory way that Jonah looked at the speaker that played the music, as is it was the smoking gun of some emotional affair with Cyrus and Colin) was playing, and the color of the grey sky that was surrounding the Andi Shack just happened to be one of her favorite colors.

Buffy decided not to dwell on the apparent difference between her and her friends. She figured that it wouldn't do much good.

Unbeknownst to her, her phone got a notification of a text message that she had missed.

...

Lydia:  
Hey Buffy, by any chance do you think that you could get Andi to help me arts-and-craft a poster? I don't have her number. Also, can u help out? The marker work on the Picture of Dorian Gray poster was the work of a god, I could use that sort of help. So, when ur available, maybe we can get the three of us together to work on it? I need all the help I can get.

Lydia had a plan set in place.

Step One: Ask Dorian if they wanted to go to the dance with her. Privately. Lydia didn't want to pressure Dorian to do anything they didn't want to do by asking them in front of a bunch of people. 

(If Dorian said yes, Lydia would proceed.)

Step Two: Make a poster saying "Go to the dance with me?" (Lydia knew that it wasn't the most important slogan, but she didn't want to get caught up in the issues of trying to find a pun that goes with Dorian, Dance, or Lydia).

Step Three: Borrow a speaker, and blast "Careless Whisper". For flair.

Lydia couldn't wait.

...

The album ended, as it was bound to do. The group let out a series of sighs, from a relieved one from Jonah to a tired one from Cyrus to a sorrowful one from Buffy. They all got up and began to collect their stuff, making some small talk as they all went their separate ways. None of them actually said it, but there was a sad, shared sentiment throughout the group of "we shouldn't do this again".

With that, they all scattered, heading to their homes, confused and sad and a little bit angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was,,,shorter than planned. And later than planned, sorry guys. Keep commenting, and thanks for everyone who's stuck with this weird story for so long.


	17. Chapter 17: Yes You Can Get Banned From Parks, I Give Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance is coming up and things begin to devolve

After the tense atmosphere of their last get together, the Good Hair Crew made a silent agreement to take a break from large group activities. Visits to the Spoon were halted, and Music Night was quietly disbanded. They still managed to find time to spend together, albeit in smaller groups, such as study sessions with Andi and Buffy or dates to the movie theater with Cyrus and Jonah. 

It was during a study session at Andi's House, where the pair flipped quietly through their books to the soft, melodic tune of an indie band's CD, a gift from Buffy's mom. The door was open, as per Celia's new rules, and the silence was unusually calm. There was an air of refinement to it all, as if it wasn’t real life as much as it was a brilliant oil painting. 

"Hey, Andi. Do you know someone who could help me do some sewing? There’s something that I want to add to my dress, but I don’t know how," asked Buffy casually, eyes still trained on her book. 

"Francine is pretty good at it. I could ask her if that would be, like, weird for you," Andi responded vacantly. She kept her tone as even and vacant as possible, to keep the pleasant equilibrium of the room balanced.

I’ll... think about it," Buffy responds delicately, and Andi thanks the sky above for the small miracles.

They return back to the easy silence, although their minds no longer dwell on the calm. Instead they begin to plan and wonder and maybe hope, just a little, that this bump in the road is just that. They soak in the coolness of the respite from drama, and Buffy wonders if it would be too weird to ask Francine for help.

...

On the other side of town, in the second story of a cramped but happy house, Cyrus and Colin worked on a poster for the upcoming dance. They chatter, trying to drown out the quiet noise that accompanies the knowledge that they both canceled plans for this "committee work". This fact is undeniable, and though they insist to others and themselves that it means nothing, they still feel the need to stifle the flutters in their stomachs with jokes and idle gossip.

"... and so she just says, in the middle of class, to the teacher, 'wait, Spurs, not sperm? I was so excited!' We were all dying. She thought that we were going to look at it under a microscope, or something, which doesn’t make sense since we are in our plant unit anyway, but I digress," Cyrus relays the story with enthusiasm as he carefully colors in the 'A' in Dance with bright blue marker. Colin sticks stickers all around the outlined words, smiling softly.

"I swear. Teachers witness the absolute worst. Honestly, every time I’ve ever cursed, a teacher just happened to walk by. I think that they all think that I’m some kind of heathen, with the out of context things they hear," Colin jokes, and it's all so easy that Cyrus might cry. 

Music from "A Chorus Line" streams out of Colin's well-used speakers, and there's a half-eaten bag of chips that Cyrus haphazardly grabbed on the way upstairs. Colin sings along to the music with a voice that’s too loud and too bad, but Cyrus can never help but sing along. He grabs a handful of chips, and begins to fill in another letter. Cyrus is secretly sure that this poster is terrible, so bad that the president of the committee may forbid them from hanging it up in the hall. The air is light and joyful, the kind of mood that makes Cyrus question why he sits through debacles like the last Music Night when this is all right here. 

They take a break, setting aside the almost-dry markers to stretch their legs and dance along to the music. Colin does the most dramatic lip sync that Cyrus has ever seen as they act their way through the singing part of "Music and the Mirror", until the dance break comes along and Cyrus realizes with a start that he is in trouble. The music has gone slow, and he finds himself in a giggly slow dance with one of his best friends. The music speeds up and they spin in circles upon circles, too happy to ignore. The song comes to an end and they’re helpless, laughing into the dense air with their hands still entwined. 

I’m in deep shit, Cyrus thinks.

...

Buffy and Andi were walking the halls together, almost at the cafeteria. Sometime in the odd joint custody arrangement over Andi that Buffy and Francine silently agreed on, it was made clear that Wednesdays were Francine Days since Buffy had Board Game Club on those days. The club was out that day, because the president had mono, and decided that if she was going to miss a day of the Go Tournament, Everyone was going to miss a day of the Go Tournament. As Buffy and Andi made their way to the cafeteria, the conundrum dawned on both of them.

"So..." Andi began, looking to the cafeteria double-doors with wariness.

"Would Francine have an issue if we all sat together? I mean, would I be totally out of place with that whole group?" Buffy asked, optimistic in tone.

"Well, the group is kind of in a weird place right now. There are all these weird vibes that you might need a crash course on before we actually sit down."

"Crash Course me, then," said Buffy, moving to stand by the wall of the hallway instead of moving closer to the door. Reluctantly, Andi followed.

"I don’t sit with them unless it’s with Francine, but Cyrus usually sits with them. And Jonah sits with Cynthia's crowd, usually. That’s another can of worms. But basically, Dorian and Lydia like each other, definitely, and I think that Kara might have a thing for Dorian, but I’m not sure. And Cyrus is really close with Dorian. And Colin, for that matter. Also, speaking of Colin, there is a chance that he likes Jonah. Dorian makes jokes about it to Francine, but those are jokes, so who knows? That’s what I know, at least. Ready to go inside?"

"I guess so," said Buffy, unsure in her words. 

They headed in, side by side, and the very moment that Buffy found the table that was their destination, she knew that she was in for a trip. 

To start, Francine was chugging some of the cafeteria off-brand diet root beer, and the mere vision of the action caused Buffy physical pain. Francine's friends were cheering her on, and Buffy shot a look at Andi to gauge her reaction. Andi's face could’ve been best described as smitten but concerned, and though it gave her a pang in her heart, Buffy decided to keep moving towards the table.

When the two had arrived, Francine had thrown the empty can onto the table, arms raised in victory as she gasped for air. When she looked to the arrivers, her eyes landed on Andi, and she let out a choked "Babe!" before messily wiping her mouth with her sleeve. Andi chuckled, increasingly concerned at the sanity of her girlfriend. Francine's gaze then turned to Buffy, and her smile fell the tiniest bit.

"Buffy! I didn’t expect to see you here!" Francine said, still smiling but with a lost enthusiasm.

"Board Game Club is having a day off. Can I sit?"

"Of course!" Francine answered, and Buffy let herself look at the rest of the table as she made a space for herself and her lunchbox next to Andi.

Dorian and Lydia were quietly having a debate, although they both had light, pleasant smiles. Buffy could hear little hints of the conversation, and figured that it was most likely about the best Big Time Rush song. Colin and Cyrus were talking with Kara about the upcoming dance and what entailed "dance committee work". She was insisting that they didn’t need to leave lunch early to work on another poster, but they seemed adamant. Buffy turned her attention back to Francine and Andi, catching the tail end of their greetings.

"So, what have I missed when I was gone during Board Game Club?" Buffy asked, good natured and the slightest bit forced.

"A lot of jokes about Jared, pretty much," Francine answered easily.

"Which one?"

"Nihilist Jared."

"He deserves it," Buffy says, and feels a bit shocked when Francine laughs in return. This could work, she thinks. She sneaks a peek at Andi, who looks pleased and endlessly relieved, and Buffy wonders if it would be that bad of an idea to ask for Francine's help in sewing the part to her dress.

...

When Cyrus and Colin leave the cafeteria, Colin holding a massive white board while Cyrus carries twin bags of craft materials, Jonah's eyes track them as they leave the room. He came up with unlikely possibilities, beginning in and affair and ending in a coverup of a murder (Jonah was prone to some mental dramatics, who could blame him). After deciding that worrying wouldn’t get him anywhere, he decided to shoot Cyrus a text.

Jonah Hercules Beck:  
Want help? That’s a pretty big board

He waited a few minutes before his phone buzzed loudly, vibrating noisily on the cheap cafeteria table.

Cyrus GREATman:  
Totally! We're in Concord's classroom. BRING ERASERS!!

Chuckling softly at his phone, awash with a new sense of security, Jonah began to pack up his stuff. Cynthia’s offered him an odd look.

"Where to?"

"Concord's classroom. Helping Cyrus with dance committee stuff," answered Jonah, tossing a fork into his lunchbox and refusing eye contact.

"Scoping our the competition? Crafty."

"I’m not scoping out the competition if there is no competition. I am Cyrus' boyfriend, so no competition."

"Just don’t get your heart broken, dumbass."

Jonah answered with a smile, before picking his stuff up and exiting the cafeteria with enough energy to power a city.

...

Andi had found herself in the middle of a spirited debate with Dorian and Lydia about the merits of Nickelodeon versus Disney, a passionate segue from the Big Time Rush conversation.

Buffy and Francine found themselves in their own conversation, one with pauses as both wondered how they got here.

"So I was calling my elementary school gym teacher on an honest to god landline, and my third grader mind comes up with the sickest roasts," said Francine, excited and relaxed as usual with the occasional careful pause.

"Like?" Buffy asked, single eyebrow raised.

"Yo mamma so dumb, she got lost in a grocery store. And starved," Francine said in a nasally, jokey voice. Buffy began to laugh, and her laughs only got louder and more passionate and Francine continued.

"Yo mamma so fat that she has two watches on different wrists, because she lives in two different time zones." 

Buffy began cackling, bending over the table with the growing intensity of the laughs.

"Yo mamma so old, her breast milk is powder."

"You didn’t come up with that in third grade," Buffy said, a giggle still on her lips.

"You caught me. Just wanted you to keep laughing," Francine answered, and they both shared small smiles, toasting to the beginning of a friendship. Andi gave them an incredulous smile from across the table. This only spurred on their smiles, and soon they went wide enough to split their faces. 

"Hey Francine, so Andi said that you had a knack for sewing? Do you think you could help me out with something for my dress for the Dance?" Buffy asked it in a tone that was borderline breathless, and Francine nodded before she could say anything.

"Give me your number, a time, and place," said Francine, screaming confidence everywhere except for the hint of uncertainty in her eyes.

Buffy unlocked her phone and handed it to Francine to get her contact in, and she figured that if she couldn’t have Andi, she might as well be friends with her girlfriend.

...

When Jonah bursts through the door (Colin doesn’t think he’s ever just entered into a room, he either bursts in or doesn’t come in at all) carrying a fistful of erasers, Colin thinks that he has a contender for Most Awkward Lunch Period of 2018. The stiff feeling starts immediately, for many reasons.

First? When Jonah entered, it happened to be the exact moment that Colin had his paint-covered finger on Cyrus' nose, and that whole scene was way too flirty for someone's boyfriend to be walking in on.

Second, Colin was 99.999% sure that there wasn’t even room for Jonah in the crowded workspace, which consisted of a cluster of desks that were positively cloaked in (mostly unnecessary) art supplies. 

Third, all of their faces betrayed this awkward emotion, like Jonah had somehow caught them in the middle of something, and it’s hard to deny the weirdness of a situation when no one even has the mind to pretend like this wasn’t the kind of scenario that self help books are written about.

The world stops for a few seconds before it continues spinning, and things calmed down to a stilted state of normal. Jonah managed to make a space for himself to work, and made it his job to draw a bright red border around the poster. 

"So, why do you guys need all of these supplies?" Jonah asked, hand making a sweeping motion to the piles of glitter glue, masking tape, and fabric paint.

"All or nothing," Cyrus answered, eyes focused on the careful lettering of the word "Dance". 

"He's convinced that one day we’ll use it, but we never do," said Colin, placing a careful cluster of stickers around "pm".

"We used the yarn!" Cyrus exclaimed, giving Colin a glance.

"Once. We used the yarn once. We used one type of yarn, we have yet to use a single inch of the other six balls of yarn you pulled out of your craft bin," Colin responded, before looking at Jonah, silently asking for his opinion.

"Maybe you could try to actively use the extra materials? I mean, you are in charge of what you use, might as well try to be adventurous," Jonah said carefully. This was met with a silence as both considered his point.

"He's right, Cy," said Colin, and something in Jonah burned at the nickname.

"Jonah, could you pass me the stamps?" Cyrus asked, voice oddly grave.

"Cyrus, no," Colin interrupted, voice equally serious.

There was something behind this stamp conversation, behind every conversation. Jonah didn’t know if he had the energy to have everything explained to him. He wondered if instead, he should just let go. As they began to bicker pleasantly about stamps, still trying to hold on to the gravity, which had now taken on a jokey tone. 

Jonah wouldn’t let go just yet, but he could feel his grip loosening.

...

"So the whole class is losing it, because I just said that Abraham Lincoln was gay as if it was no big deal. And the teacher is so done with me, because I pull this kind of stunt every week and the kids never get used to it," says Francine, as she slowly sews on the dress attachment. 

It's a few days later, after school on a grey, foggy day. The cozy atmosphere of Francine's room in its ordered chaos keeps Buffy warm, however, as as she lazes on Francine's aged beanbag chair, fidgeting with some of Francine's thread. 

"What a dream. I always try to do that stuff with characters in English. I had a field day with Mercutio. Did you hear about the performance, where Andi played Mercutio? And she was hanging all over Jonah? I thought I was going to die!"

"I would watch a whole play of that. I would be in that play, honestly. I fancast me as Tybalt."

Buffy did not miss the purposeful manner in which Francine skirted around the topic of Andi. The mutual force of effort tired them out.

"Could I direct?"

"No doubt."

They shared a happy smile between them, a light hearted one that was half-fueled by exhaustion over the upcoming dance.

"So, what are you wearing to the dance tomorrow?" Buffy asked casually as she stretched. 

"A blue suit. Very sleek, very professional. Although in terms of playing the suit game, Dorian's going all the way. There'll be lace at their collar and everything. Strong Victorian vibes, I’m all kinds of excited," rambled Francine, and excitement about fashion shined through in small, charming glimpses.

"Me too! Cyrus promised that there’ll be Sprite at the concessions table, so even if everything else is a disaster, I’ll have something to accompany me as I cry in the bathroom."

"Hope that doesn’t become an issue," said Francine, her sewing machine still hammering away, providing a rhythmic constant.

"That was unnecessarily ominous. Like a mob boss. Like, 'what a nice night. It would be a shame if... everything went to shit at the school dance,'" joked Buffy.

"Honestly, not to break this fragile equilibrium we’ve struck or anything, but it would honesty be a shock if everything didn’t go to shit at the school dance."

"I think you may be right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> random note: Buffy and Francine's song is "Time's Been Reckless" by Marika Hackman. This is,,canon
> 
> Also thank you readers! This chapter took forever, I am aware, and the next one is going to be a doozy to write for sure. It will be fun, though.
> 
> Please comment! Please kudos! I <3 feedback!


	18. Chapter 18: They Are Just Going To Watch a Movie At Home. Everything Is Fine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The school dance happens, and it’s a finale for sure.

When Lydia actually asks Dorian to the dance, for the first time at least, it’s on their morning walk around the school. Sometimes, Dorian would feel the itch of inactivity under their skin, an itch that walking around aimlessly could only seem to scratch. Sometimes other people would tag along as they made their rounds through the school, stopping by clumps of socializing people to talk for a few minutes before leaving again.

Lydia opted to join, and they were walking through the sparsely populated Science hallway when she popped the big question.

"So, Dorian. The dance is coming up."

"It’s tonight, so I’d say so," they responded, flicking a stray hair out of the way. 

"Wanna go together? I’m a good ballroom dancer," Lydia said, suddenly aware of the linoleum tile beneath her feet.

"Sounds like a blast. What about… after the dance?" Dorian suddenly seemed unsure, looking at the passing poster on the wall instead of Lydia.

"Well, if I’m lucky, we can go on a few dates afterwards? Maybe make it official if everything goes well?"

"That sounds great. I would really like that."

"Well, if you like that, then you’ll love the promposal I have set up," said Lydia, smiling hard enough that her face felt a bit sore. She cast a shy look to Dorian, who was just as happy.

"Ooh, tell me more."

"You’ll find out more at lunch. The usual spot as… usual?" she said, letting her hand knock into Dorian's in a facsimile of hand-holding.

"Can’t wait," replied Dorian, letting their fingers interlock.

~

"Okay, I have a big concept. A life changing idea," said Jonah, speaking excitedly across the distance of their desks, which were facing each other. 

"Hit me with it," Cyrus replied, leaning forward onto his hands with a smile on his face.

"Instead of getting matching corsages, we put matching pins on our suits. Very modern, very chic. What are your thoughts?"

The other two members of their desk-cluster shared an exasperated glance. They had been watching this relationship, ups and downs, happen throughout the whole year. There had been a recent toning-down of relationship talk during their English class, but something about the school dance amped it up again.

"Do we have any matching pins? Or at least pins fashionable enough for the school dance?" Cyrus asked, pointedly avoiding the judge mental gaze of the rest of the table.

"The beaded safety pins that Andi made could work."

"They definitely could, but should we maybe get the rest of the Gay Hair Crew in on it? Beaded pride pins may make more sense if it’s a group thing," said Cyrus, already drafting his text to the group chat in his head.

"I like it!"

"Looks like we have a plan, then! But just to be clear, I wasn’t expecting a corsage."

"Sounds fake, but okay," replied Jonah, laughing more at Cyrus' smile than anything else. 

Sometimes, he thought triumphantly to himself, things are okay. And maybe, they will be okay later.

~

Bu44y:  
so, just to check, bex is gonna pick me up, right? at what time?

Andiman:  
6:45, I think. 

Bu44y:  
cool...

Andiman:  
Why "…"?

Bu44y:  
i'm just nervous, i guess. 

Andiman:  
U have no reason to be! Everything will be fine! I bribed Cyrus to play "Don’t Stop Believing", so we can scream it into each other's faces. It’ll be so cool. 

Bu44y:  
what about francine? are you just going to act like my girlfriend for the whole night? or is it all over once bex drops us off?

Andiman:  
I don’t know, if I’m being honest. Let’s just play it by ear?

Bu44y:  
that’s not rly an option

Andiman:  
Ok, ok, let’s just act like we're together, and I’m just friends with Francine. I’ll dance with both of you, but no kissing will happen. On either end.

Bu44y:  
fair. c u at 6:45, then?

Andiman:  
It’s a plan

~

During lunch, Cyrus had been called out of the mini dance committee meeting by a phone call from his mom, leaving only Kara and Colin as they pinned some streamers to the doorway of the gym. They took short breaks to eat in between the unexpectedly stressful task of stringing the most tear-prone streamers possible to the gargantuan doorframe. 

"So, are we going to talk about it?" Kara asked, cursing softly to herself as the third try of streamers tore from the mere pressure of existence.

"About what?" Colin asked dumbly, feigning indifference as he unrolled some more streamer material while Kara took their previous attempt down. 

"You paid Harriet 5 dollars just to get her to put 'I'll Cover You' from Rent on the Playlist. You don’t even like Rent. So my question is, who? And are you ready for Harriet to totally embarrass you about it in front of the whole school?"

"Why would Harriet embarrass me?"

"Picture it. A Bruno Mars song fades out. Harriet crowds up to the mic. 'This is for Colin's special someone'. The music starts playing, and she winks at you, because she thinks that you’re dating someone who likes the song."

"Do you really think she’ll do that? Because I could get my ass kicked if that happens," Colin asked as he handed some tape to Kara, his face genuinely worried.

"Who would kick your ass? Are people in this school that homophobic?"

"They are, but that’s not what I’m worried about. Do you seriously not know?" The first layer of streamers had, at that point, gone up without a tear. Kara looked down from her step stool, her round face betraying unabashed curiosity.

"I have no idea. Is it Dorian?" Kara asked, cringing immediately at her morbid eagerness. Kara had a bit of a thing for Dorian, before Lydia, at least. It didn’t matter now, since Kara had Cynthia and Dorian had Lydia, but there was always the residual strains of attraction for Kara.

"No, definitely not. Not that Dorian isn’t attractive, or whatever, it’s just that they're definitely more of a friend."

"Then who?" Kara asked, not making eye contact as she delicately set up the streamers.

The question did have a simple answer, but Colin had a much less simple thought process. The process went by so fast that he didn't give himself anytime to check over and correct for mistakes. It went as follows:

"Cyrus->This is a bad question that I do not want her to ask again->How will she not ask again->maybe if I say that I'm in love with someone that I have no chance of ever being with->who would I be in love with->it has to be someone she knows->not Francine, because she knows how Francine feels about Andi->not Jonah, because obviously->Buffy?->Buffy."

"I’m in love with Buffy."

~

"Do you think there’s a world where we skip all of this nonsense and just, I don’t know, talk to each other?" Francine asked, before rolling her marker across the beige butcher paper to Dorian, who was sitting cross-legged on the other end.

"It’s probably a lot less entertaining. As someone who is in a fairly stable relationship and faces little personal risk, this is occasionally fun to watch," Dorian answered, lying just a little bit. It was as hellish to watch as it was to experience, especially when the most important people in their life had their emotions at risk, but there were moments of hilarity.

"I’m glad you enjoy my pain, you sadist," said Francine, before letting her head fall lightly to the floor.

"As the confidante in chief, I can comfortably say that you don’t know the worst of it," Dorian finished their fancy lettering on their side of the paper (it was a project that the pair was only paying half-attention to. It was the Pre-AP edition of a free day, in their eyes).

"You know what?"

"If you say Chicken Butt, that’s considered justifiable manslaughter."

"Jesus Christ, I’m not in seventh grade anymore. Will you ever let that go?"

"Never."

"Anyway, I was thinking."

"That’s dangerous."

"I’ll give you ten dollars if you let me finish a thought."

"Is that a joke, or?"

"Absolutely. Anyway, I've been thinking that I should try to slow dance with Andi at the dance tonight," said Francine, softly and conspiratorially.

"Wasn't that always the plan?"

"Andi has a girlfriend, technically. A girlfriend who's not me. And as awesome as Buffy is, and as awkward as it could be, i just want to have that with a Andi, y'know? I feel like it might be girlfriend protocol to dance every slow dance together, save one or two for your best dude friend in a relationship-"

"You can just say Cyrus."

"Let me finish a thought!"

"Buy my silence!" Dorian exclaimed, earning a few looks from surrounding students, causing them to decrease their volume.

"Anyway. I feel a bit sleazy about it, like I’m stealing someone's girlfriend, but Andi is my girlfriend, right?"

"The fact that that is, structurally at least, a question is very worrying."

"It’s always been a bit of a question, but I want to make it a bit less of a question. Am I making any sense?"

"You’re crystal clear. Just remember that you’re friends with Buffy, too."

"Maybe I could slow dance with Buffy too, to make my slow dance with Andi less gossip-worthy."

Dorian gave one appraising look, before rolling their eyes and dropping their forehead to the ground, similar to Francine's earlier motion.

"Life would be so much easier if we actually talked to each other, oh my god," sighed Dorian, exasperated beyond belief.

~

The journey from getting off of the bus to getting into Bex's car was an especially challenging one for Andi, because despite her status as "Buffy's Date", she still attempted to match Francine's outfit as well, if only a little bit. Finding a halfway point between Buffy's sparkly purple dress (with a series of black fabric decorations as a result of Francine's meddling) and Francine's black suit wasn’t as difficult physically as it was emotionally. Andi had a black dress and purple accessories, but as easily as it could pass for a companion to Buffy's outfit, it was unmistakably tied to Francine's.

It was absolutely, obnoxiously petty, Andi knew this. She knew that having a purple scarf didn’t mean that she was committing some shade of adultery, but it felt big in the way that the minutia of teen life so often felt.

She put her Gay Hair Crew beaded pride pin in, the only accessory she was certain of, before finding herself staring into the mirror, the rest of the ensemble unclear. 

She needed backup.

"Hey, Bex?" Andi yelled through the walls, hoping for some advice. She heard the heavy thumps of her mom's steps, and opened the door before Bex could reach it.

"What do you need, Andiman?" Bex asked, and her voice was light, but her face was more anxious than Andi expected, like Bex was anticipating some big reveal.

"Scarf or no scarf? And should I add a headband? Maybe some chunky bracelets? I’m not sure about how far I could bring my accessory game," said Andi, and Bex let out a puff of relief. As worried as Andi still was, she decided that she couldn’t let it show.

"What's Buffy wearing?"

"Purple with some black."

"Hmm... half and half?" Bex leaned against the wall, her face transposed into something thoughtful.

"I would lean more towards 75/25, if numbers are what you're looking for."

"That’s exactly what I’m looking for," said Bex, stepping away from the wall with newfound energy as she headed towards Andi's bed, on which there was a wall of purple accessories, pulled out of dusty bins and drawers. There were bracelets and bedazzled hair clips and everything else, it was truly a cornucopia of craftsmanship. 

Bex leaned over the treasure, and picked out a scarf from a flea market, a sparkly headband, and started a makeshift pile in the corner of the bed. She threw some assorted jewelry on it, and then put her hands up, signaling that her work was done.

"Ever thought of selling any of this? I doubt that you’ll wear most of this stuff," Bex said, fingers running over the lilac stripe in a braided necklace.

"Maybe one day. I mean, if you think this is bad, you should see the blue collection."

"We should have a garage sale."

Andi laughed, walking over to give Bex a quick hug. She tried to get all of her pre-dance nerves out of her head and into the hug, and Bex must’ve gotten some of that message, if the tight grip she got in return was anything to go by.

"I agree, by the way," said Andi when they separated, and Bex gave her a scared, watery smile accompanied with an "I love you" before leaving. Andi took a deep breath in, and a long sigh out, before getting to work and getting dressed.

~

When Cyrus arrived to the dance, Jonah at his side, his initial emotional reaction was a sense of overwhelming pride. The loud pop music, the cans of soda on the concessions table, the cheap tablecloths on the plastic cafeteria tables that had to be dragged in? Cyrus had a part in making that happen. He squeezed Jonah's hand and turned to him, mouth open with a joke on his lips, but he stopped in his tracks, because Jonah was already smiling at him, content in the moment.

Cyrus' second emotional reaction was a gut-wrenching mix of affection and guilt. 

He gave Jonah a smile that he hoped was warm enough, and continued to march forward, hand in hand with his boyfriend. He spotted Dorian almost immediately, mostly as a result of their tallness and the fact that they were screaming along to the cheap pop hit blaring from the speakers with reckless abandon, waving a bright red can of Coco-Cola in the air. He led Jonah to the table that the whole crew was gathered around (to be fair, not the whole crew. Only Dorian, Kara, Cynthia, and Francine. Colin, Lydia, Buffy, and Andi hadn’t arrived yet). 

"How's the lunch squad?!" Jonah yelled over the speakers, sunny as ever. Cynthia turned from braiding Kara's hair to Jonah, said something back that was drowned out by the music. Cyrus assumed that it must’ve been something good, if Cynthia's wide grin was anything to go by. 

"Anyone wanna dance?" yelled Jonah, who let out a chuckle when Dorian shot of their hand. Kara reluctantly followed, while Francine just waved them off in that odd, motherly way.

"Looks like the dance may already be a hit," said Cyrus to no one in particular as they migrated to the floor, which was lit in blues and pinks due to some party light that Kara had insisted they buy.

"Looks like it," answered Dorian, who had snuck up behind Cyrus in their move to the dance floor.

Maybe the small heart attack that gave him was a bad omen, but Cyrus was too caught up in the soon-to-come dancing to truly care. 

~

When Lydia arrived to the dance, the sensory overload almost made her turn back around and jump back into her Mom's car. She was always the quiet sort, the kind that had a set of foam earbuds in her pocket in the case of emergencies and asked for the music to be turned down at parties. 

Despite the "grandma" jokes she was often the victim of, Lydia was generally content with her status as the one who couldn’t handle the volume and intensity of a lot of parties. 

Despite all of this, Lydia kept walking forward through the crowds and the music that was so loud she could feel it on her skin. She put a hand to her forehead to calm the growing cloud of panic brewing in her skull alongside a killer headache, and looked around to find Dorian. 

Lydia found Francine first, sitting on a cafeteria chair with a stance that was simultaneously tense and lackadaisical. Lydia made a bee-line to her ethereal sorta-friend. She knocked shoulders on her quest to the back tables, and the soft pain of that stuck on her shoulders even when it was over, but it was a worthy sacrifice to see a familiar face in the crowd.

"Francine!" Lydia yelled out, her voice battling valiantly against the cacophony. Francine, by some miracle, heard the faint strains of her name being called, and turned to Lydia.

"Come over here!" replied Francine, cupping her hands around her mouth, and the sound carried well enough for Lydia to follow the command with a relieved (if still a bit pained) face.

Lydia took a seat across from Francine, and scooted in close enough to hear without yelling. Finally, she let a nervous smile break out as she turned to scan the dance floor, looking for Dorian, inevitably dancing awkwardly, trying to navigate around their too-long limbs. 

"Are you excited?" asked Francine, effectively interrupting the search before Dorian was found in the crowd.

"I think so, but I don’t do this kind of thing a lot, so I don’t really know the rules."

"Most of what I know from school dances are a direct result of television, but not having alcohol or a knife is a good place to start," Francine said, sneaking a glance towards the door, and Lydia caught the action with a curious look.

"Nervous?" Lydia asked, her gaze zeroing in on the door, wondering what was going to come through.

"Yeah. Waiting for someone. Some people, really. Two people. Not th-"

"Your girlfriends?" Lydia interrupted, and Francine's head snapped towards her.

Lydia knew, based on things that Dorian had said, that Francine was probably dating Andi, who was probably sorta-dating Buffy, who liked Andi back. This kind of unnecessary complication was difficult to simplify, but Lydia supposed it wouldn’t be the absolute worst thing to plant an idea in Francine's mind.

"No! I don’t- I mean it’s not like I’ve never thought about it but... How much do you know? Like, what do you know about the whole situation?" Francine sputtered, and Lydia could only look on with a motherly sort of affection. In dating Dorian, would she feel this way about the other people who Dorian helped?

"The basics. You and Andi like each other, Andi and Buffy like each other, and you and Buffy have some chemistry. Sorry for assuming things," said Lydia, only partially sincere in her apology. Francine looked as if she had been struck with a set of new thoughts, and Lydia was inclined to leave her to do her thinking alone. She gave one more look to the door, only to see Andi and Buffy entering arm in arm, clad in fashionable purple and black dresses.

"Speak of the devil."

~

Colin burst onto the dance floor at the start of a Michael Jackson song, and began the "Epic Dance-Based Gay Grandstanding Battle of 2017" with a bang, as he jumped in the middle of the Lunch Crew's dance circle and pulled out some jazzed up musical theatre choreography. It was epic, if Dorian's whoops of joy were anything to go by.

Jonah was absolutely incensed, and the battle began. 

He jumped into the circle and attempted to do a split, before realizing, halfway to the floor, that Ultimate wasn’t exactly the sport of flexibility. He wimped out in the most stylish way he could, with arms swaying in the air, matching the beat of the song. Cyrus laughed under his hand, and Jonah considered it a victory.

Andi jumped in afterwards, hand in hand with Buffy, and they did some swing that they learned from the internet. It was flashy and well appreciated, but Colin and Jonah still felt their competitiveness simmer in the air.

Dorian jumped in next, pulling out a mediocre robot, but the people surrounding them still hollered, encouraging the dance until it became too enthusiastic and smiley to even resemble the robot. They ducked out, laughing a bit from the adrenaline rush of being cheered on, and Cyrus jumped in.

This was it, decided Jonah and Colin simultaneously: I have to be the best supporter of Cyrus to prove my worthiness of his heart.

Cyrus jumped around, waving his arms wildly with reckless abandon, smiling and laughing his way through. Colin and Jonah were both yelling and cheering loud enough to garner the attention of some other group members, who only gave eye rolls and giggles at the hilarity. Cyrus hopped out of the circle, into the space between Kara and Cynthia, hooting a bit in residual joy.

Kara jumped in and did the sprinkler, and Jonah made a decision.

He was going to win this, at whatever cost.

When Kara hopped out, Jonah jumped in, his energy levels ramped up to their highest setting. He didn’t have enough space to do a flip, or any of the other major party pleasers, so he settled for doing his most tried and true dance movie: everything at once. 

He whipped. He dabbed. He naenaed. There was no stoping him, Jonah was like the sun, burning off enough energy to heat up the entire world, producing enough light to make the daytime last for a whole month. 

But hubris could only produce so much, and like Icarus, Jonah flew too close to the sun. He decided to take a risk, to try something out of the box. His closest friends were screaming and laughing, Colin looked put out. It was undecided, but then he looked at Cyrus. Lovely, loving Cyrus, who was smiling wide and clapping along to the beat.

Jonah made space, and tried a handstand. 

He didn’t get very far, he only went down and then up, up up. He was flying, until he crashed down on the crowd. He heard the gasp before he felt the pain, the throbbing, unrelenting pain in his left wrist. His eyes closed and he wondered if this was the end. 

His life flashed before his eyes, from his screaming birth to the effortless feeling of flight, of watching the frisbee soar through the air with a graceful slice. He saw the red hot anger of jealousy and the ice cold fear of his life. Faces flashed, laughing and framed in perfect closeup. Andi, the friend who changed his life. Buffy, Scrabble partner and voice of reason, the one who grounded him when he was soaring too high. And then Cyrus. Cyrus, Cyrus, Cyrus. The light that he would climb to, the light that he would fly to. When he saw Cyrus' face flash before his eyes, he decided that if he was a martyr for any cause, he was glad it could be this.

His eyes cracked open, he saw the metal ceiling of the gym, and then a set f faces crowding over his, all looking down. There was too much to comprehend, so he closed his eyes again, before feeling someone shaking his shoulders. He opened his eyes again and focused on the head closest to his. It was Cyrus, and he smiled lazily, before wincing at the pain of his wrist. He felt new aches everywhere, probably from falling, but the worst pain by far was his wrist.

"Are you okay?" Cyrus said, his voice mingling with the music in a way that made Jonah's head hurt.

"M-my wrist," replied Jonah, fighting the new blockage in his throat. It was suddenly so hard to stay awake, let alone speak.

"Kara! Get the nurse!" he yelled, before looking down again at Jonah, placing a comforting hand on Jonah's shoulder.

"I’m really… tired."

"It’ll be okay."

"Okay."

There were voices and the sensation of rushing and movement in his periphery, but Jonah's foggy eyes were fixed on Cyrus, forever worried above him.

The school nurse, who happened to be chaperoning at the time and was ready to call an ambulance if things were truly bad came and examined him, and Cyrus eventually left his sight, but the affection still festered in Jonah's chest as he slowly became fully conscious.

~

"Is Jonah going to be okay?" Francine asked, leaning against the hallway wall outside the gym. She fiddled with the purple handkerchief sticking out of her suit pocket, pulling it out, folding it, and then putting it back in, only to pull it out again.

"It’s just a sprained wrist. He passed out from the pain, but he'll live. He's getting ice on it in the nurse's office," Buffy answered, and she was sitting on the floor, trying to calm down from the anxiety of the night so far. Andi was laying down on the floor, close to Buffy. She let out hums of recognition to the questions and answers, and both Francine and Buffy suspected that she was nodding off already.

A moment of silence passed between the trio, and they listen to the music, filtered through the gym walls. It was only broken as Andi began laughing softly to herself, as if she had the most hilarious thought and couldn’t keep it in. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" Buffy asked, already orienting herself towards Andi.

"I’d give a dime, I’m that curious," added Francine, and Buffy rolled her eyes affectionately. Francine was struck again with what Lydia had said earlier, struck by the way that the three worked well as a trio instead of a love triangle. 

"We're all matching. Bex was talking about colors and number rations and stuff, and it’s just funny, you know? Francine, y'have the 25 percent purple and 75 Black, I’ve got 50/50, and Buffy has 25 percent black and 75 purple. It’s just funny. I mean, I didn’t plan it."

"I did! Buffy wanted me to have some purple. We talked about it when I was doing the add on," said Francine, her words coming out slowly as her mind worked at double speed, comprehending this new possibility. 

"And you, Andi Mack, are officially tired," said Buffy, interrupting the train of thought, "so you either need to get some sugar, caffeine, or your mom to pick us up."

"I’ll text Bex," Andi said, her voice muffled. Andi sat up, pulled out her phone, slammed out a haphazard text to Bex, and promptly fell onto Buffy's shoulder, much to Buffy's mixed delight and discomfort. When it was clear that Andi was most definitely asleep, Buffy turned her head to Francine, and mouthed out a quiet "is this okay?".

Francine answered with a nod and a smile caught between infatuated and deeply sad, and she sank down to the floor, her back sliding against the wall.

Silence passed, the clock ticked and the songs changed. Francine was half-asleep against the wall when Andi's phone buzzed, waking Andi up enough to answer it.

"Hello?" she asked, sleepy as all get out and the immediate recipients of sappy, crush eyes from both Buffy and Francine. There was the noise of a voice on the other line, but it was too quiet to be intelligible from Francine's distance. With a series of "uh-huh"s and nods that couldn’t have been heard through the phone, Andi hung up.

"Bex is outside. Ready to go?" Andi asked, turning to Buffy, and then looking at Francine.

"As sad as it is that I didn’t get the chance to slow dance with either of you lovely ladies, I wish you a good night," Buffy shot her a grateful smile, and pulled Andi up. Francine saluted them, and Buffy saluted back, smiling with comfort over their newfound camaraderie.

They made their way down the hall, and they exited, Francine let out a long, slow sigh. 

~

Cyrus sat awkwardly in the chair in the nurse's office, looking up at Jonah, who was propped up on the bed with a lifetime's supply of ice around his wrist. The air was thick with words unsaid, until Jonah, finally conscious and alert enough to not fear for his life, decided to break the silence.

"I don’t want us to break up."

"What?" Cyrus was caught off guard, immediately. His body was thrown into a defensive stance, and his eyebrows were raised with some odd kind of fear.

"I don’t want to break up. I know that we've been moving apart for a while, but I like us. I like going to see movies with you, and taking walks with you. And I know that you're changing and sometimes it seems like I’m not changing, but I like us together. I want us to be together."

"No one ever wants to break up. Breaking up is sad, but sometimes it happens because it has to."

"But I like you, Cy. Even if we change, that won’t. I like you romantically and all that, but you’re also one of the best friends I’ve ever had," said Jonah, his eyes on fire with vulnerability. He could see Cyrus soften with the assurance.

"I’m changing, and I think you are too. We need to change. High school Cyrus isn’t going to be happy in a middle school relationship, and if you’re okay with changing the way we are with each other sometimes, then I’m okay with stating together. But I’m just not who I was."

"Okay. We can change. I’m okay with that."

"Awesome."

"Cool," added Jonah, his lips quirking with a smile.

"Super," replies Cyrus, joining in on the joke with a relieved look, happy to have reached something better instead of an end.

"Lit."

"Okay, this is over, you ended it with Lit. I'm heading back to the gym, I need to make sure that the home front is being held up," said Cyrus, his mind already covering the bases of what he would need to get, and who he would need to talk to to ensure that everything was going okay.

"Good luck."

"Before I go, I jut want you to know one thing."

"Yes?"

"Thanks for trying. You try hard to be good, and it’s not going unnoticed. Recuperate!" With that, Cyrus left, leaving only a kiss on Jonah's uninjured hand.

~

Lydia, after at least one can of Sprite and encouragement from Kara, finally braved the dance floor as the night started to come to a close. A solid number of people had left, and the dance floor was mostly empty. Some members of the dance committee had started to clean up around the edges, and it was the perfect scenario.

And so, to an eighties song that Kara definitely made Harriet okay, Lydia finally got to dance on the dance floor at a high school dance with the person she was dating, and it was nice.

Her headache didn’t go away, but it wasn’t impossible to ignore when she was jumping around with Dorian, their hands clasped as they hopped and twirled each other.

Cool, Lydia thought. One more thing off of my bucket list.

~

It was officially the last song of the night. Even Lydia and Dorian had left, most things had been cleaned up, and Colin finally got his chance. The opening drum beats of the song came on, and Colin spotted Cyrus, arranging the sodas that were left of the concession table. 

Colin raced over to Cyrus, and tapped him on the shoulder. He could only imagine how awkward it looked, with him slightly out of breath and with his hand extended, but Cyrus took the hand and let himself be pulled to the center of the dance floor. 

They were the only ones left, and Colin could only imagine what it looked like to Harriet, the only person watching them. Harriet wasn’t being subtle at all, but it was only a periphery detail to the event of the two, alone on the dance floor with the colored lights floating over them.

The song wasn’t slow, so there was no moment of grand embrace, just the stance of awkward ballroom dancing, with Cyrus' left hand on Colin's shoulder, and his right hand entwined with his friend's hand. It was simple, basically elementary, but it was enough, if only for the moment. 

They began to move, and it only took a few moments for Cyrus to speak, crashing the romance movie mood with only a few words.

"Jonah and I are going to try to make it work," he said, and Colin resisted the urge to stop dancing. Despite the drop in his stomach and the twist in plans' he kept moving.

"Cool! You'll still help me with the campaign and all that, right?"

There were questions hidden, there. More vulnerable questions and anxieties than obvious in his inquiry

"Of course. We can still be friends. It’s just that I'm with Jonah."

"You’ve been with Jonah as long as I’ve known you."

"Honesty hour?"

"What?"

"Complete honesty till the end of this song. Deal or no deal. I don’t want to lie to you, I care about you."

"Deal."

"I had an emotional affair-"

"You make it sound like we're adults, and you're married and I’m your work wife or something, oh my god."

"I had feelings for you, even when I was with Jonah, and I let those feelings stick around and become a whole thing and I feel like I've hurt you, and I’m sorry, because I’m with Jonah."

"Are we still friends?"

"I hope so."

"I hope so too."

"The song's almost over."

"I know."

Colin held Cyrus a little tighter, and it felt a little bit like goodbye. Cyrus gave in and just gave him a hug, and soon they were in an actual grand embrace, swaying to the upbeat music playing from the speakers. The song came to its close, and there was a moment of true silence, a pure, unbroken kind of silence. The pair was caught in each other, before separating completely. Colin shot a look to Harriet, who looked so aggressively curious that it brought a humorous smile to Colin's face.

"So, what next?" asked Colin, turning to Cyrus. The music was over, and the mood lights were being turned off, replaced by the usual fluorescents. Tablecloths were pulled off tables, machines were unplugged.

"The campaign for student body president, if you’ll have me."

Colin pushed out a hand, and Cyrus took the handshake with a hearty confidence that he didn’t really feel. 

"I need to call my mom. She has to pick me up. Jonah's Mom picked him up a bit ago, do you want to wait in the hallway with me?"

"Sounds like a plan."

~

Kara reclined on her bed, resting her sore feet. Her phone was to her ear as she listened to Cynthia rant on the other line.

"No, you don’t even get it! Because here’s the thing, not only does Buffy like Andi, but guess who likes Buffy?"

"Nihilist Jared?" Cynthia said, her voice coming in crackly through Kara’s phone speaker. 

"No. Colin P.," said Kara, relishing in the glow of spilling gossip.

"Oh my god."

"Right? But you aren’t supposed to know, so don’t go spreading it around."

"This is all so complicated, I think I’m going to die."

"Don’t think about the complicated, and just go along for the ride. That’s how I’m still alive after everything that’s gone down."

"Smart."

"Absolutely."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extended Author's Note for Why Pamper Life's Complexity
> 
> As this installment of the story ends, I’m pushed into some major retrospection about how this story as changed my life in the last months that I’ve spent writing it.
> 
> To start, this story is my first true fanfiction. It is the story that I joined AO3 for the opportunity to tell, it is the story that book me out of my creative hiatus. This broke the floodgates, and made every other story on my account possible. This story was my warmup, it was where I vented and experimented, trying stuff just because I could. I had crises over it, I complained to my mom about it, it was a major step in my journey of becoming an author again.
> 
> I quit writing in October of 2016, because I had won an award for a short story and convinced myself that I had peaked. I convinced myself that I had nothing else to say, and that I had written my perfect story, which wasn’t even perfect enough to break past 3rd place. I entered a long creative hiatus, in which I didn’t write or draw or anything, really. 
> 
> (Moral of this story: creative hiatuses are cool if you do them for the right reason. Fear that you’ve peaked isn’t a good reason)
> 
> I wrote this story, mostly because I just wanted there to be something in the Andi Mack tag. That was quite honestly my primary motivation, the fake dating idea came a while after I figured out that I would break my hiatus just to get ~something~ in there. I then embarked on this really long, unnecessarily angsty journey of writing and not editing, of forgetting characters names and middle of the night ideas. Every comment I received pushed me towards this finale. 
> 
> This finale is a bittersweet one. It’s the end of the first (and to date, most successful) fanfic I’ve ever written, and it holds a deep place in my heart. As much as I joke about how if I got ~one less comment~ Cyrus and Colin would be dating ~right now~, or how often I preface all my behind the scene posts about it with "this story isn’t nearly popular enough for this", I am at peace with what I’ve written and what’s to come in this series.
> 
> I’m honored to have a place in the Andi Mack tag as one of the first multi chapter fics for the fandom, and I thank everyone who read all 18 chapters of this mess. 
> 
> Here’s to a treasured past and a bright future! Thank you all! Please comment, and if you have anything you would like to see in the next installment, tell me!


End file.
